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Ex's half arsed contact with DC

5 replies

Sprogonthetyne · 03/10/2025 16:09

For background, my Ex has meantal health difficulties that have lead to some unacceptable behaviour towards the DC in the past. Despite this we have agreed that keeping some form of relationship going between him and DC is in their best intrest. We have been working through an agreed plan to gradually increase the amount of time they spend with him (currently supervised by family), whilst he accesses meantal health suport and works on his parenting issues.

He sees them twice a month and this weekend he would be due to increase from 2h to 4-6h with them. He has asked to see them for 3h and ask that they bring their tablets. Not sure how I feel about this.

Firstly, when you see your kids that little, would you not want to have all the time you can with them? And also wouldn't you want to actually interact with them instead of sitting them in front of a screen? (DC definitely not screen free at home, but generally use them for car journeys or dr waiting room type situation). I also don't like having to send things along for contact, and have raised this previously when asked for packed lunches, attraction passes, sun cream, swim kit etc.

Do you think I should raise either of these, or just let him get on with it?

OP posts:
ButSheSaid · 03/10/2025 16:24

Just say no thanks, the tablets will be kept at your property, he's free to buy them whatever he wants.
If he wants them to have tablet computers at his house, he can figure out how to arrange that.

ThejoyofNC · 03/10/2025 17:29

"No sorry the tablets I bought are for use under my supervision. You are free to provide any devices you wish for them to use during your time, with necessary child safety features installed."

Sprogonthetyne · 03/10/2025 20:05

Do you think I should point out that they have asked for less time then we had previously agreed?

OP posts:
TotallyFloored · 04/10/2025 12:40

If he’s accessing help for his mental health issues and it’s all supervised, I’d be inclined to increase slowly anyway. I’d let that one go myself. It could be all he feels he can manage now.

BlueberryLatte · 04/10/2025 12:45

How old are your children?

I wouldn't send tablets or packed lunches etc. He sounds as if he wants the easiest possible option, which may be to do with his mental health problems.

I honestly wouldn't want them to spend more than 3h with him if that's how long he thinks he will be able to cope. Since he has behaved badly towards them previously due to his mental health, I'd probably not want to insist he have them gor 4 or 6h myself, but maybe I'm a bit overly cautious

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