About to have 2nd baby, and very recently separated

[Mumto21234]

I am due my second baby in next few weeks, and have very recently split from husband of many years. We already have a toddler together and I feel like I am the default parent as it is.

Anyone any advice on how to successfully navigate this massive change we are about to face, and also on managing not being seen/used as default parent? I don't actually mind so much right now, as realistically I am not doing an awful lot at weekends just now however definitely plan to make time for myself after baby and pick up some hobbies/spend time focusing on me.

Any advice on parenting or emotional aspect all welcome!

I’m sorry OP that must be tricky! Do you still live together? The problem really with not being the default parent is that it all depends on how much he is prepared to do, you can’t force him so all he will owe you is child maintenance rather than time unfortunately. Good luck!

No he has moved in with his dad, and sees toddler at weekends, and sometimes for brief periods of time during week before toddler goes to bed. He is consistent with weekends generally, but basic things like let's me know last minute when he wants to see toddler etc. I suspect, and hope, it may just be teething issues and a routine will naturally form over time, once settled with next baby. Very frustrating though that men seem to be able to walk out and leave responsibility at the door whenever it suits!

If I was you, and to avoid disappointment, I’d go into it planning for & expecting the bare minimum and then anything better than that is a bonus but you can’t be disappointed. It is shit, but other than child maintenance he can just walk away unfortunately so I’d focus on making sure things are sorted financially- that’s the bit you can legally enforce, and hope that he will stick to a regular contact schedule.