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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Single mum to a baby

10 replies

Onwards1 · 30/08/2025 19:02

My husband blindsided me and left for another woman before I gave birth. I’m now raising my baby alone and struggling so much - while he pretends we don’t exist. I’m so angry at how difficult life is for me and I don’t have hope for the future - will things get easier? My baby is 6 months old.

OP posts:
AntiBullshit · 30/08/2025 19:18

He’s decided to leave so now you have to cope and you will. You need to stop your mind wandering to him and his behaviour and focus on what a you have today/ , yourself and your baby. You have to move on from him it’s the only way. It’s not fair that he left you but he did and that’s the type of person he is. It’s not a reflection of you but of him.

ppppink · 30/08/2025 19:27

I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling. My baby came along during similar circumstances. 2.5 years later, the anger remains but it is less. We have built a beautiful life, I have a brilliant little boy and we are genuinely happy. Despite it all, time will pass and you will thrive regardless of what has happened to you. I am so sorry. It is so unfair.

Shewasafaireh · 30/08/2025 20:57

Honestly if he’s like that, it will get easier as your baby grows. The only thing more difficult than being a single parent is parenting in a bad relationship.

6 months is still very young, no wonder you’re exhausted.

hauntedcow · 30/08/2025 21:13

I’m a few months in. My child was here and a young toddler when me and their dad separated. But I have practically been a single parent since their birth. It’s hard and I too feel very resentful of the life he is leading whilst I am mum 24/7. But I would rather this life than struggling each day with someone who wasn’t 100% committed to us both. I have to remind myself that I’m so glad that he didn’t show his true colours until the baby was born as the baby wouldn’t be here then and I’m so grateful to be their mum.

some days are very hard and lonely. Some days are brilliant just us two. It’s not the life I imagined or would have wanted for either of us and I feel cheated when I see happy families. But, sadly, that was never my reality and I need to make my child’s life as stable and happy as I can.

I am sorry you’re experiencing this. It will get better, your baby will soon be running around and talking and they will be better company. People say it, but it’s true that it is his loss. Chin up

TicTac80 · 30/08/2025 22:00

First off, well done. You've got through pregnancy, birth, the early day/weeks and these first 6 months yourself!! No small task.

I know you feel that things are bleak, but things will get easier. The anger you feel is justified and understandable. Your ex has done you guys a favour though: he's shown you who he is, and how unreliable he is (amongst other things!). You don't want that sort of crap around you/your little one. And believe me, if he could do it to you and your little one, then he'll treat others the same too. If OW knew about you when she got with him, then she's just as bad as him...and they deserve each other. He's no prize. So, it's probably better that he showed his true colours sooner than later.

My (first*) ex walked when I was pregnant with my eldest. We were together 3yrs, and about halfway through the pregnancy, he scarpered off with OW....and treated me/our baby like shit. They were dark days for me, but I got through it with kindness of friends and family (including ex's family who were disgusted with his behaviour). My DC1 and I made a fab life together. Ex tried crawling back after he split with OW (they had a kid together and he did the same to her when her baby was small), but I told him to sling his hook. Ex sorted his crap out, apologised to me/my family/his family for his behaviour and has worked hard to make amends, and he's become a good co-parent.

I found it hard being alone in the early days (difficult to see friends or even pop to shops in the evening if you've forgotten something!), and it would kill me seeing happy families all together when out and about. It was shit on postnatal ward when I was the only mum on my own (the other mums had their DP's/DH's with them but I wasn't allowed a nominated visitor to be with me - had to be the father). But friends would come by to catch up, or I'd just take DC with me to see friends (not to pubs or clubs as that wasn't my thing, but out and about with me). I did OU courses when I was Mat Leave and had DC1 on my lap whilst I was reading/studying, which was cool and gave me something to focus on. I didn't plan on being a single parent, but things did get easier. I learned to drive, I retrained and qualified as a nurse. All those successes were for me/my DC1, but also a big fat "f* you" to ex.

I met my now XH (*second ex - I sure know how to pick them!) when DC1 was little. We got married, had DC2 but he walked (long story, won't go into it here) when our youngest was 5, and buggered off with OW (and tried to crawl back some months later). I've learned that it is far better to be single and then you know what's what and who you can rely on for stuff...than to be with someone that is unreliable (the stress that comes with that nonsense is immense!). Your place is your own and you call the shots in that place. Your routine is to your liking and (within reason!) you do as you please. Sure it isn't easy, but it's quite empowering in a way. Give yourself time, be your own best friend, cheer yourself on....and remember even those in the most solid relationships have their owns sets of ups/downs.

My DC are older now, and I've been a single parent for longer than I've been parenting within a relationship...I'm happily single. :) Believe me, this is going to be HIS loss. Both my exes have regretted their behaviour and treatment towards me/DC. Both have openly said that to me and to their families/friends. You two will do just fine xx

Newmum1998x · 29/09/2025 17:45

Onwards1 · 30/08/2025 19:02

My husband blindsided me and left for another woman before I gave birth. I’m now raising my baby alone and struggling so much - while he pretends we don’t exist. I’m so angry at how difficult life is for me and I don’t have hope for the future - will things get easier? My baby is 6 months old.

How are you coping now OP?

I gave birth to my son in August and my ex long term bf dumped me at 6 months pregnant. It’s so hard and lonely but happy to chat if you need to x

Purplelady1 · 05/10/2025 09:00

It can be hard in the beginning, but once you get into a routine you’ll love it. You’ll be fine, keep focusing on your little family and furthering your career etc.

Newmum1998x · 05/10/2025 12:46

Purplelady1 · 05/10/2025 09:00

It can be hard in the beginning, but once you get into a routine you’ll love it. You’ll be fine, keep focusing on your little family and furthering your career etc.

Glad things are looking up for you! Does your child have any contact with their dad?

Rubyred3 · 05/10/2025 13:06

Hi OP
It does get easier. I had a child in almost exact same circumstances. It was a traumatic thing to go through. I had a lot of counselling and put all my effort into building a happy homelife for DD and I.

It still has moments, i can still feel upset now and then with the hand I was dealt with but it does get easier overall and more than anything, I am incredibly proud of myself and my DD.

You will be too, I am sure x

ChiAlice · 06/10/2025 19:18

Hello everyone,

My name is Alice, and I’m so grateful to join this wonderful gingerbread community. I’m in my early twenties and expecting my first child. This is all so new and overwhelming for me, especially since my boyfriend, whom I thought I was in love with, left me when I shared the news about my pregnancy.

I’m feeling a bit lost and confused about what to expect as I navigate this journey alone. I’m here seeking support and advice from those who have successfully walked this path. Your experiences and guidance would mean the world to me during this challenging time.

Thank you for welcoming me into the group. I look forward to connecting with all of you!

Warmly,

Alice

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