Co parent gives child to his mum for the day

[Justone62]

My child sees her dad every Saturday for 8 hours, I found out through a friend that on his one day, he lied about the child's whereabouts and gave her to his mother for the day whilst he went to watch a football game.
Am I unreasonable for being annoyed by this? Imagine being 4 years old and thinking your spending the day with your dad, and then he leaves you with someone else.

It’s understandable that you are annoyed and probably disappointed in him not wanting to spend time with your child. However, focus your energy on your child instead. Does she have a good relationship with her grandmother? Did she have a good time that day with her? Was she happy about it?

The reality is that a lot of the time parents need childcare because that’s the reality of life. If he only has her one day a week, it shows where she is in his priorities but untimely it’s out of your control.

Personally I don't see the issue, he is arranging child care on his day which most people on MN seem to get angry about men not arranging their own child care, besides isn't it nice she gets to spend time with her grandparent?

I would be annoyed! One day a week with his child and he prioritises football.

If it’s every week, it’s shit. As a one off I think it’s fine.

Most kids love hanging out with their grandma, so I’m assuming that’s the case here as you don’t give any backstory.

And if she’s going to have a relationship with your DC, it’s right that it’s on ‘his time’.

I agree with this, except if he didn’t see her at all then he should have given op a heads up that this was the plan so that she could warn her daughter and her daughters hopes wouldn’t be let down

Grandmother love is important.

If it was a one-off I think it's fine. If he has her every Saturday I think it's reasonable for him to have the occasional one off while she spends time with her Grandmother/extended family. If it's every week or if the Grandmother is abusive/neglectful/unsuitable then that's not ok.

This is his time with his daughter - not yours. If he chooses to ask his mum to look after her granddaughter that's fine. Do you ask his permission for your mum to look after her?

Shocked at these responses. He gets one day a week with her and doesn’t even bother with that? I couldn’t bear it, I’d be looking forward to seeing my child all week. Awful.

It’s annoying but totally beyond your control and influence

As a one off it’s ok. Might have been nice for them because the grandmother might not see much of their grandchild only when the dad has her. If it’s every single week then that’s a different story