Fed up of being alone but don't want to date?

[LittleTabbyCat]

Does anyone else not want to date but also fed up of being alone? I don't know what I want tbh but I've been single for a long time and I want to meet someone but don't want to go through the effort of dating and OLD honestly scares me and I don't want to meet someone and have to start from the beginning worried about being ghosted or used but also fed up of being alone 😩😔 tell me others feel this way?

Yes I’d love an arranged marriage!

Yep!
women have needs but I can’t deal with the hassle

Definitely.

Just the thought of OLD is depressing. It's horrible but I've been on my own for 8 years. DS will go to university in a year, and being so isolated is not good for me. It's not good for any of us.

I work, have friends, but the thought of trying again to find a decent man, who doesn't have a nasty selfish agenda feels very daunting.

I'm fairly resilient and cheerful, but I know I have to do something. sooner or later. Dating used to be fun. How did it start to feel like a chore?

Am in a similar boat & no interest in OLD. Suspect it could turn into a second job keeping track of a profile, conversations, arranging and going on dates. I'd rather be using all that time on hobbies, my health etc.. but will then still be long term single so no answers for you.

Yep, I’m in the same boat.

I just wish I had a male friend who turned out to be madly in love with me so I don't have to go through all the hassle of dating again 😂

Arranged marriage is an abhorrent and degrading sexist tradition that should not be joked about.

Yes, absolutely feel the same way.

I want a partner for some things - mini breaks/holidays, sometimes at weekends, intimacy on my terms - but I don't want to share my house, my kids, any money etc.

Annoyingly, me exH seems to have found just such a relationship with a younger, childless partner who doesn't seem to want anything from him, is happy to fit in with his hobbies, kids etc & also seems happy to put up with him.
I have to be honest, that makes me jealous! And is so bloody typical, that man always lands on his feet. 🙄

Yes I also think I’m at an age now where the chances of finding a decent single man are very low as they will all be taken.

Im not even sure I want a man, just a close companion of either sex would be fine!

Same. I've tried OLD and it stinks, they all told me their problems/sex demands, just talked AT me, at best I had someone ask me my favourite colour(!)
Middle-aged men who are single can be quite odd, and avoidant. I regret the choice I made when I had options when young, I chased after a guy who was ambivalent, now I'm ready for mutual attraction/effort/respect, the market is dire.
But like everyone else, I don't think being alone in life is beneficial either.
I never realised how much for many men, it's an age thing. The male friends I have who are my age or older, have all had very positive experiences dating women. These men are not conventionally attractive/well-off but they have good social skills. I guess because there's a lot of great women out there.
I'm wondering how can I find women for the Golden Girls set-up.....

Yes I get where you are coming from! It’s not fun is it? Where are all the good ones hiding? There’s probably only 4 left in the country, but still.

Luckily I don't crave another bloke. I have quite a few men as mates though. Whenever I have ventured on dating sites quite often the men are either monosyllabic or only chat about themselves and are not remotely interested in you. They also rarely scrub up well have zero interesting views or hobbies and are an utterly pointless exercise! Most are very shut down and have time to wallow in it. Whereas single parents have invariably made huge sacrifices raising their children and are more giving. No time or even energy to wallow in it whatsoever!

Online dating is not for me. I've been alone a while, since my 30's, still only 40's now and don't think I'll ever be part of a couple again.

I did used to feel embarrassed that I hadn't had sex in such a long time, no one ever asked me about that, it's like an elephant in the room, but I'm peri now so really not interested anyway!

In my dreams I'd meet a good looking, 'solvent' man (didn't they used to put that in personal ads in the paper?!) with all the nice qualities, but I don't think that's very likely at all.

Yeah online dating sucks. Don’t care what so many say, I can’t stand it. So single it is. Sadly my sex drive has not disappeared and I’ve gone through early meno early 40s. Ah well, that’s life I guess.