Travelling long distance with children as a lone parent

[Purplesproutingbroccoli23]

Hi all,
I’ve been a lone parent to my two daughters (8 and 11) for almost a year, since my husband died.
Before his death, we took reasonably adventurous holidays with the girls and I have been determined to continue this, partly to show them that we can still have good lives.
We are currently a few days into a 2.5 week trip to Canada and I honestly feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake trying to do this.
I’m absolutely exhausted already dealing with the mental and practical load and I now feel really stupid for thinking I could handle it. I woke up today feeling like shit (headache, sore throat, achy) and one of my daughter has an upset stomach and it has just felt too hard.
Not sure why I’m posting. Think it’s because I feel very lonely right now

I’m sure in a couple of days once you both feel better and you’re coping better with the jet lag things will seem a lot more positive. You’re going to make fantastic memories with them! My friend is in the same position and I know she can get overwhelmed sometimes. Travelling alone as the only adult can be tough. But you’re doing it! Take some meds and try to plan an activity tomorrow

You've got this. You're both just ill. Doesn't sound like anything has technically gone wrong, and being sick with two kids isn't fun when you're at home either so you might as well be in Canada having adventures.

You got this, you’re just both feeling down and ill.

I haven’t had the chance to take DD travelling much (we did move countries though) but for what it’s worth, some of my best childhood memories with my own mother was when she took us (my brother and I) on adventures with her.

It's seems too hard now as youre feeling unwell. But its ok. You can do this.
Treat it as you would if you were home. Rest/TV/snuggles and snacks or takeaway. Don't put pressure on yourself to do anything until you're feeling better. The kids will be ok and you have plenty of time to be adventurous when you're feeling better. Hugs to you.

You can absolutely do this. Have today as a slow day so both you abd dd gets better. Room seevice if possible and phone/tv. And get better.

Im sorry for your loss and the lonely feeling. For what it is worth it sounds like your girls have an amazing mum

Thank you for the lovely replies. They’ve given me a much-needed boost We are going to hang out in the room today, watch films and get room service

Solidarity- it’s hard doing holidays alone. No one to help with logistics, bags and stuff like illness where another adult could pop to pharmacy and bring you supplies.

I’ve done long haul alone when mine were 4 and 8. And since very short distance uk holidays. We found a place we like, easy to get to and it works so much better.

that said it’s easier that they are older teens now but the mental stuff, car packing driving, leaving the rental clean when leaving etc still feels a lot. I do it always though and then recover after 😊

Thank you. I think any kind of travel as a lone parent is hard. It’s nice to know other people get it

Good idea, rest up so you feel better tomorrow. Make the most of not needing to cook etc!

Not a lone parent here, but very much a parent who feels like they have to do brilliant things with their child all the time, even when their child would rather get up at 1pm and play computer games...!

Just wanted to update - I felt so awful this morning and was really struggling with my breathing, so my poor 11 year old had to call the hotel reception to ask for help. They called an ambulance and I got taken in (with the kids too). Now back at the hotel after a couple of bags of IV fluids, some meds, using an inhaler and various tests and feeling like I’m on the mend!

I’m a long time time lurker but just felt compelled to reply to this. Not in the same situation at all, but I’ve travelled extensively across the Atlantic with my two on my own since they were 18mths and 4, and have done month-long camping road trips across the states with them since they’ve been a about you guys age.
What I wanted to say is we have had so many things go wrong. SO many! I call them ‘trips’ rather than holidays, so I feel better in myself that it is a ton of hard work. And all the stuff that goes wrong I try to reframe it as I’m teaching them what to do when you’re stranded in the middle of a random airport at 11pm/ half you car has just divested its self onto the interstate in a storm, etc!
My kids always chat about our adventures and laugh, and the things that have gone ‘wrong’ are the things they remember and laugh about the most. You are doing an absolutely amazing thing for them, especially in the situation you are in. I truly believe travel and letting your kids see different cultures and places is one of the biggest gifts you can give them, and so character-forming for adult life. Also in my personal experience it is 90% drama/drudge and 10% amazing, but in 6 months you’ll only remember the amazing bits 🤪
All the best for a speedy recovery and a great rest of your trip!

This is lovely to hear and makes me feel a lot better, thank you

Crikey, what was the diagnosis? Have you had breathing issues before?

It's horribly unfair that your adventure has started this way.

Once you're feeling physically better, take the time to reflect on how well your kids coped with the emergency and let them know how ace they are. Hope you can still enjoy some good times x

I will - they were amazing and I’m so proud of them.

Diagnosis was a chest infection and I’ve got various meds to help. I had pneumonia a few years ago but other than that, no breathing issues at all before. Already starting to feel better. Thank you x

Honesty that’s the worst luck/timing! I hope you can now enjoy the rest of the holiday!