I’ve been with my partner for two years. He’s 8 years younger than me, and I knew that might be a mistake, but I carried on because he seemed genuine and the nicest guy I’d dated. We now have a 3-month-old baby. At the start of this year, I told myself I’d give the relationship 6 months to see if he would step up, because I’d already noticed I was the one planning everything, while he was lazy and not as career-motivated as I thought. Sadly, these months have only confirmed my doubts.
He’s been unreliable, dishonest at times, and hasn’t supported me emotionally or practically. I’ve felt like the cleaner, planner, and organiser the one keeping everything together while heavily pregnant and now caring for a newborn. I’ve had no “soft life” with him, just stress and feeling like a single parent already.
Recently, he booked a Manchester weekend with his cousin without telling me. I only found out when I saw the Airbnb booking. He claimed he “thought he told me,” but what I’d actually agreed to was him going for the day to watch a match, not a full weekend away.
This really hurt because I’m the one who always plans our trips and nights out. He only does things like that for occasions, and he uses the excuse that because I usually do everything, he just leaves it all to me without thinking.
He felt guilty after I confronted him and took me to dinner the night before he left, and even washed the dishes that morning which he never does but the next day he casually dropped into a voice note that he was also going to a party until 4am with his cousins, then quickly changed the subject. I told him I wasn’t happy, he said he understood, and then I just went silent. He sent a few short check-in messages over the weekend (including one at 2am) but they felt fake. In the past, if I’d been upset, my exes would have called multiple times and made sure I was okay, especially with a baby involved.
After that, I sent him a breakup message telling him to go to his mum’s when he gets back. I suggested we co-parent amicably for our baby’s sake, especially since we have an already-paid family holiday coming up.
Now I’m second-guessing myself because I know his family will be upset, but deep down I’m drained, unhappy, and have lost all attraction to him.
Am I wrong to break up with him, or is this the right move for me and my baby?