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To give abusive baby father a chance with kids

48 replies

Magik8ball · 06/08/2025 23:58

Evening all,

To cut a long story short.

I was with my ex partner for 9 years.
We have a 2yr old and 1 year old.

He has nudged me on the stairs whilst I was holding our first newborn

He tried to snatch a controller from me when I was late 2nd trimester/3rd trimester with our second. I didn't let go. Whilst he didnt "hit" me, this altercation left me with bruises on multiple places on my body.

Since the birth of our second child, as we both got more overwhelmed with the kids and a crazy living situation, I had arguments with him multiple times about needing to tone down his anger and to speak to the kids with more respect and don't refer to our son as a "fucking cunt" when speaking to me especially whilst next to him.

We eventually found our own place but earlier this year, during an argument, he grabbed me by the collar and pushed me into a high chair which I ended up knocking over and yes that did hurt lol. And then to the edge of a cabinet.
I grabbed scissors for my own safety.

The kids could see.

I kicked him out a few weeks later when he once again tried to abandon the kids after an argument, i asked him to stay, which ended up with him throwing my sons chair. Immediately after I told him to get out. He said he was just doing it to get it out of the way, I said the aggression wasnt needed and he needed to leave and I am breaking up with him.

Since then I have hardly spoken to him other than to thank him for sending a decent amount of money to help the kids and that his behaviour isn't acceptable and the kids deserve better. I have kept him blocked so he reads my messages but can't respond.

My child's birthday is coming up, he has also mentioned his dad.

I am wondering whether to reach out, and let him have minimal contact for my sons sake whilst ensuring he gets mental health help but also wondering whether it's better to give him none.

I don't want the kids having to deal with him but I also don't want to cut him off before giving him a proper chance to change whilst away from the situation.

Me and him are completely done though.

Any advice?

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 07/08/2025 22:46

Absolutely do not intitiate contact. They can gain nothing positive from contact with him until they are much older (like 18+).

Do not contact him "one last time" - he is already paying maintenance so you don't need to do this??

If he is a narcissist this is just poking the bear. Leave him well alone. If he wants contact, he knows where you are and he will seek it out so cross that bridge when you come to it.

Their childhoods will be much more stable if you leave this as it stands. Yes they may suffer for the lack of a father figure and yes they may have difficult questions. It's still better than him flitting in and out of their lives chaotically - which is what will likely happen if you invite contact again.

Magik8ball · 07/08/2025 22:51

It's not that, it's that, he has multiple times said and shown that he doesn't want the kids
And I believe him.
I think it is in his best interest too, to just send money and not see them.
I also want to get passports and change their name. I have to have his permission for this so with the fact that he doesn't want them in mind,
I was talking about contacting him to come to an arrangement about this. We are both already aware he doesn't want this parenthood life.

Whilst blocked, he has been sending me money though anyway.

I won't be giving him access to me or the kids through this conversation :)
I am also in the midst of trying to move somewhere unknown to him.

OP posts:
Magik8ball · 07/08/2025 22:53

BertieBotts · 07/08/2025 22:46

Absolutely do not intitiate contact. They can gain nothing positive from contact with him until they are much older (like 18+).

Do not contact him "one last time" - he is already paying maintenance so you don't need to do this??

If he is a narcissist this is just poking the bear. Leave him well alone. If he wants contact, he knows where you are and he will seek it out so cross that bridge when you come to it.

Their childhoods will be much more stable if you leave this as it stands. Yes they may suffer for the lack of a father figure and yes they may have difficult questions. It's still better than him flitting in and out of their lives chaotically - which is what will likely happen if you invite contact again.

I just sent a comment that answers some of this :)

I didn't mean a one last time for emotional closure or anything like that, I am not interested in the past :)

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 07/08/2025 22:54

Personally, I wouldn't go to the police because that would also be "poking the bear" but of course it's an option if it turns out later that something happens where it is necessary.

You're already doing the right thing. You're doing amazing - don't second guess yourself.

Magik8ball · 07/08/2025 22:57

Mum4MrA · 07/08/2025 22:41

Please don’t contact him. He will use it to abuse you and your DCs. Well done for leaving him.

I appreciate that thank you, and I will take that on board :)

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 07/08/2025 23:01

I would still be very cautious - having been through this (I have a DS 16 whose dad hasn't seen him since he was 2) it can still disturb an arrangement which is essentially working.

You don't need the other parent's permission to apply for a (normal, British) passport. Only if you want to change their names. My ex never agreed to change my son's name and when I had to contact him and get his permission to get an emergency passport for my son (this was when he was about 8) he immediately asked "Is this about changing his name?" It wasn't but I was absolutely gobsmacked he asked after not bothering to see him for 6 years.

Essentially it has not caused an issue him having a different name - yes we get asked every time at passport control but I just learnt to travel with his birth certificate (and later, my marriage certificate).

BertieBotts · 07/08/2025 23:05

I would also be careful about communicating to the children that he "doesn't want them" - even if that's unfortunately the truth.

Magik8ball · 07/08/2025 23:15

BertieBotts · 07/08/2025 22:54

Personally, I wouldn't go to the police because that would also be "poking the bear" but of course it's an option if it turns out later that something happens where it is necessary.

You're already doing the right thing. You're doing amazing - don't second guess yourself.

I agree, that's why I haven't. Because he is a narcissist, I dont want to give him a reason to lash out legally. I don't want the children to be forced to see him under unfavourable circumstances. Right now I am in control.

OP posts:
Magik8ball · 07/08/2025 23:17

BertieBotts · 07/08/2025 23:05

I would also be careful about communicating to the children that he "doesn't want them" - even if that's unfortunately the truth.

I am very appreciative of your concern. I'd never say that though :)

OP posts:
Ladedahlia · 07/08/2025 23:23

Anon501178 · 07/08/2025 22:08

He called your CHILD a fucking cunt
He has a horrible temper.
He is potentially very dangerous.
Don't do it- sounds like guilt is misguiding you.
Did SS not get involved and told you the kids aren't allowed near him unsupervised?

This. It made me feel physically sick to read this. How absolutely vile. I would never want to see or hear from him again if I were you, let alone let him near your kids.

Magik8ball · 08/08/2025 00:08

Ladedahlia · 07/08/2025 23:23

This. It made me feel physically sick to read this. How absolutely vile. I would never want to see or hear from him again if I were you, let alone let him near your kids.

My thoughts exactly.
But when I told someone they laughed and said he probably didn't even mean it.

In regards to me coming to terms with how I ended up with him, it has lead me to looking at everyone else's toxic behaviour. I feel like I keep shouting "This isn't normal" and no one is paying any mind.

OP posts:
Raspberryrippleflavour · 08/08/2025 19:04

Absolutely don't initiate contact! You got yourself and the kids out of a horrible abusive situation - why on earth would you throw your kids back in?

Abusive people are abusive everywhere. They just look for victims. There is no doubt he will abuse them (and maybe you through them). Sorry to be blunt, but if you initiate contact with an abuser, it is actually a safeguarding concern as you are exposing them to abuse and a child witnessing abuse is being abused.

If your ex goes to court, have your evidence ready to show he could be unsafe. Your kids can wait until they are older to try and contact him if they choose. At least they can make an informed decision.

I would also seek out therapy if I was you to find out why you want to reach out to him despite his behaviour. He swore at your child!

SpryCat · 08/08/2025 19:28

Magik8ball · 08/08/2025 00:08

My thoughts exactly.
But when I told someone they laughed and said he probably didn't even mean it.

In regards to me coming to terms with how I ended up with him, it has lead me to looking at everyone else's toxic behaviour. I feel like I keep shouting "This isn't normal" and no one is paying any mind.

Was it your mum? She sounds like she views abuse as just one of those things that women have to put up with in life! If one of my daughters told me their partner was physically and emotionally abusing them or the children, I would go fucking mental.
You have seen how people around you just excuse it so I would ask for therapy as you were made to accept toxic behaviour as a child and learn to reparent yourself for protection.
Your ex calling your small child a fucking cunt is horrific and so is how you were treated!

Magik8ball · 08/08/2025 19:47

SpryCat · 08/08/2025 19:28

Was it your mum? She sounds like she views abuse as just one of those things that women have to put up with in life! If one of my daughters told me their partner was physically and emotionally abusing them or the children, I would go fucking mental.
You have seen how people around you just excuse it so I would ask for therapy as you were made to accept toxic behaviour as a child and learn to reparent yourself for protection.
Your ex calling your small child a fucking cunt is horrific and so is how you were treated!

I appreciate that. Yes it was my mum. I do recognise their toxic ways. I have come to terms with everything more since being pregnant with my second, I was also in therapy at the time but it was difficult to leave and he wasn't concerning around the kids until recently and I got rid of him pretty quickly after.

Obviously it'll take me a bit longer to work through all of that haha but a lot of people here have the wrong impression that I am still allowing myself to be abused and that I am still drawn to him. Lol no, I kicked him out and didnt say so much as a word to him for months. I was making a plan until I could leave and find housing and I did.

I also know him more than anyone else.
Abusive men aren't abusive 100% of the time, that's how people get stuck in that cycle. He wouldn't be abusive if I sent a text. He'd be nice to get on my good side, but it stopped working on me years ago. I was just getting opinions on whether it'd be worth it.

To those it may concern (not sprycat but I can't copy it to send it seperately haha) no I wouldn't be endangering my kids safety by sending a text, I am not struggling without him, nor do I love him, it wouldn't suddenly give him access to any of us.

I wanted to get what I wanted before never speaking to him again.
Like the rest of my belongings, which are worth a lot of money and are sentimental.
Another thing was the passports but someone told me I don't need him to sign it thankfully.
I do want their name changed as well.

I was asking if people thought it was worth it.

OP posts:
GreenGodiva · 08/08/2025 20:08

Jesus Christ. You have finally been brave enough to get away from this waste of space and now you want to open the doorway for him to worm back in?

no

your children do not need him. He’s toxic, abusive, volatile and he needs to stay far far away from them. Thank God you were finally brave enough to do it, this sort of toxic living strain is what causes personality disorders in children ( trust me, I know first hand from an abusive twat just like yours).

Give your children the biggest gift they could ever get in life and create a quiet, calm s, stable home life with zero “uncles” or “male friends”. Give them the healing space they need to be able to grow and thrive without the constant threat of violence and trauma.

Magik8ball · 08/08/2025 20:23

GreenGodiva · 08/08/2025 20:08

Jesus Christ. You have finally been brave enough to get away from this waste of space and now you want to open the doorway for him to worm back in?

no

your children do not need him. He’s toxic, abusive, volatile and he needs to stay far far away from them. Thank God you were finally brave enough to do it, this sort of toxic living strain is what causes personality disorders in children ( trust me, I know first hand from an abusive twat just like yours).

Give your children the biggest gift they could ever get in life and create a quiet, calm s, stable home life with zero “uncles” or “male friends”. Give them the healing space they need to be able to grow and thrive without the constant threat of violence and trauma.

Why would he worm his way back in?
I've already said he doesn't want the kids. And why would I be letting him back in by one instance of communication? I am in control of myself. I would have to want him in any sort of capacity for that to work, which I do not.

You're not understanding me, I don't want or need him, men can only worm their way back in when the woman needs or wants them in some sort of capacity.

There is so much projection here. Nonetheless, I repeat I AM NOT LETTING HIM BACK IN.

He does not want the kids, therefore he may actually do the things I ask because it means he can be completely free without guilt.
Yes he is abusive and has anger problems, but he is not stupid
He is aware he's better off leaving us all alone and that he likes it that way. He's already admitted he's happier.

OP posts:
GreenGodiva · 08/08/2025 21:23

Magik8ball · 08/08/2025 20:23

Why would he worm his way back in?
I've already said he doesn't want the kids. And why would I be letting him back in by one instance of communication? I am in control of myself. I would have to want him in any sort of capacity for that to work, which I do not.

You're not understanding me, I don't want or need him, men can only worm their way back in when the woman needs or wants them in some sort of capacity.

There is so much projection here. Nonetheless, I repeat I AM NOT LETTING HIM BACK IN.

He does not want the kids, therefore he may actually do the things I ask because it means he can be completely free without guilt.
Yes he is abusive and has anger problems, but he is not stupid
He is aware he's better off leaving us all alone and that he likes it that way. He's already admitted he's happier.

He does not want the kids. You are right. So why are you even posting asking if you should let him have a relationship. THAT is why it looks like you are happy to open the door and then of course he will worm his way in. And your children will be left disappointed and traumatised. You already know this. Honestly, take the money and send him an updated photo every few months if he asks. Other wise leave him in the past.

Magik8ball · 08/08/2025 21:38

GreenGodiva · 08/08/2025 21:23

He does not want the kids. You are right. So why are you even posting asking if you should let him have a relationship. THAT is why it looks like you are happy to open the door and then of course he will worm his way in. And your children will be left disappointed and traumatised. You already know this. Honestly, take the money and send him an updated photo every few months if he asks. Other wise leave him in the past.

Because of the kids.
Safe supervised access with their father may have benefitted them more then completely leaving him out of their life. I wanted to know people's experiences dealing with a similar situation. Not ignorance and bad attitudes.

No, it seems to you that I am happy to open the door. Doesn't seem like that from what I said to to me. Everyone judges with their own prejudices and projections. It is important to see that. You could just hear me when I said I wouldn't allow that but I think you prefer just being rude about things.

P.s he can't ask me for photos because I don't intend to unblock him. Giving him access like that would bring about the situations you imply I want.
No thanks

OP posts:
Magik8ball · 08/08/2025 21:42

GreenGodiva · 08/08/2025 21:23

He does not want the kids. You are right. So why are you even posting asking if you should let him have a relationship. THAT is why it looks like you are happy to open the door and then of course he will worm his way in. And your children will be left disappointed and traumatised. You already know this. Honestly, take the money and send him an updated photo every few months if he asks. Other wise leave him in the past.

Also, I chose not to directly respond to you the first time but you have actively come back even angrier even without being notified of a response to you. Please don't project onto me. I appreciate your time but I would prefer you spend it elsewhere as you have made up your mind about my situation and my intentions so this is no longer productive.

OP posts:
rainbowsparkle28 · 08/08/2025 21:48

In this situation, no. He has shown he is unpredictable and even more so when your children are so little I couldn’t and wouldn’t risk it, it only takes a moment where he flies off the handle or is stressed out (which let’s face it is likely with two small babies/toddlers). If he wants contact then this is supervised by someone you trust / contact centre so you also don’t have to have anything to do with him but your children can be kept safe. But let him do the running if he wants to see the kids, he can come to you don’t go running to him that’s for him to do.

Magik8ball · 08/08/2025 22:31

rainbowsparkle28 · 08/08/2025 21:48

In this situation, no. He has shown he is unpredictable and even more so when your children are so little I couldn’t and wouldn’t risk it, it only takes a moment where he flies off the handle or is stressed out (which let’s face it is likely with two small babies/toddlers). If he wants contact then this is supervised by someone you trust / contact centre so you also don’t have to have anything to do with him but your children can be kept safe. But let him do the running if he wants to see the kids, he can come to you don’t go running to him that’s for him to do.

Edited

Thank you for listening.

That was actually my plan, to have him have contact with a contact centre or something of the sort. I do not trust him to be with the kids alone or without a trained 3rd party. I also have no plans to see him.

I won't push it :)
Personally I want him to disappear from our lives, but felt like I needed more opinions about supervised contact. I at least owe it to the kids to find out whether it is indeed impossible to be done safely or not and if, in the end it is even worth it for those who have experienced it as a child.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 09/08/2025 22:31

a lot of people here have the wrong impression that I am still allowing myself to be abused and that I am still drawn to him

I do not think this, but I do think some of your posts lean towards the dangerous assumption that you can engage with him according to normal human decency/morals and logic. This is TOTALLY understandable - it's so much of a given/something we take for granted to such a degree that you probably don't even think about doing it - it's just normal. I never ever thought about it before I learnt how abusers tend to operate.

If he was a reasonable person, then it would be a totally reasonable thing to ask him to sign off on a name change and/or even parental responsibility (though, in English law this is not actually a thing) given that he's expressed that he finds the children difficult to cope with and doesn't enjoy being a father.

It would also be totally reasonable to say yes wouldn't it be nice for the children to have the opportunity to have a relationship with their father, it seems a shame to cut that off without finding out if it's even a possibility.

The problem is that he is not a reasonable person. He is an abuser. And no, I am not saying abusers are 100% terrible people. I understand that extremely well. I have loved an abuser too, and there are abusers in my family who I have complicated feelings about. It's honestly not that I think they are terrible or deserve to be written off - it's just that you have to be incredibly careful when dealing with any kind of request or power dynamic with them. You cannot assume that they will operate in a fair or reasonable way. It is ALWAYS about what's in it for them and they see EVERYTHING through a lens of winning and losing. Most people have empathy and a sense of fairness, a sense of perspective, can let things go, and would at least try to see a little of the other person's side even though most people are of course biased towards themselves. Abusers are not like that - they are incredibly sensitive to what they perceive as a loss of power and will latch onto it. It's probably some kind of trauma response. I don't think it's conscious at all, it's something deeply embedded in the way they see the world. They tend to assume that everyone else thinks about things the same way - they are often paranoid and suspicious or tie things up in knots unnecessarily, out of a fear someone else might screw them over when most people have no such intention.

men can only worm their way back in when the woman needs or wants them in some sort of capacity

You have convinced yourself you are immune to him, and I completely believe that you're immune to him ever tempting you back into a relationship - but I think you might want to think about whether there ARE things that you still want from him - you mentioned wanting some possessions, which might be worth trying to get, but be careful - you want his permission to change the children's names, you may at some point need his cooperation/agreement for accessing e.g. an emergency passport, or if you ever decided to move abroad (unlikely though that may seem right now). So my main thing would just be to say be bloody careful and be aware he's highly unlikely to play by the same rules as anyone else would. You can't beat him at his own game, but you do concede something to him by making him aware that you want something he has the power to refuse. So think about whether what you want is worth the risk of that and whatever he twists it into.

Sentimental possessions - it probably is worth asking for these, IMO, especially since he likely already knows you will want them, and most likely has no use for them and/or giving them back will make him look gracious to outsiders, so has a benefit for him unless he thinks that he can use them as leverage against you.

Children's names is much less clear cut - this doesn't really carry any benefits for him, if he voluntarily signs things like this over, then he can no longer be the "sad, ostracised dad whose crazy ex won't let me..." - he's the guy who voluntarily abandoned his kids, which is a much less favourable impression of him. You can ask, but I would be cautious about doing so.

Some part of you also sounds like you're wanting contact between him and the children if it would be possible from his end. My assumption is that this is based on either a general belief that it is better for children to have contact with their father than not, or that they may be harmed by his absence. Or, possibly, (maybe and?) it's rooted in a niggling feeling that you ought to do as much as you possibly can to facilitate this before drawing a line under this, that it's partially your responsibility as a mother to enable and encourage a positive relationship with their father, possibly some guilt over having "chosen" a father who turned out to be abusive and later absent.

My advice in general to this would be just to 100% drop it as a responsibility of yours. Your responsibility to your children, IMHO, is YOUR relationship with them. His relationship with the children is 100% his responsibility. Your only responsibility in relation to him is not to be negative about him towards/around the children, and of course, to extricate yourself from his abuse as you have done brilliantly. If he does not want to arrange contact, then you should not look into arranging it for him. If he does not know how to arrange contact, don't worry about it. It's on him to take the initiative to find out. If he has got himself blocked due to his own harrassing behaviour, again, that is his own problem. It is likely not impossible for him to get a message to you somehow if it turns out that he does have a burning desire to see them, and of course he could always apply for contact through the family courts. In the meantime, I think your assumption (that he can't be bothered) is highly likely to be correct. It's sad, and yes it might harm them emotionally. But you cannot control his decisions and his behaviour, and ultimately, any harm they experience from his absence is likely to be much less than any harm they would experience from witnessing or experiencing parental abuse.

It is not your fault that he is a poor father. You haven't done anything wrong, and there is nothing to put right.

Morningsleepin · 09/08/2025 23:04

My dgd's father was violent because he has a dreadful temper and took himself off when she was four. Fortunately he never came back. She doesn't want to see him even though she used to adore him and we have avoided talking badly about him

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