Other kids asking about absent father

[Takis]

My son is autistic and has never had any friends, he has finally made his first friend aged 11 and I am very happy for him. We saw him at the park yesterday and he told me that his friend asked him where his dad was 😣😩 (he met him at school not the park) the friend was at the park with his father I guess that’s why he asked. Now my son told me he lied and said he told him his dad was at work because he didn’t want him knowing he “doesn’t have a dad” this has made me feel awful. Has anyone been in this situation? If your child’s father isn’t around?

I think I would just say to your son it's better generally to say something factual like, 'I don't see my dad, he's not around' and then tell him to change the subject if someone asks. Tell him that if they persist it is fine to say, 'I don't want to talk about it' and again change the subject. Make it clear to him that there is nothing to be ashamed of in not having a dad in the picture - it's not a reflection on him at all. These things happen.

Even with friends it's important for him to be clear on his boundaries.

I'm in this situation, I.e lone parent but thankfully my children are too young for the questions yet, so i can't help much on that subject. However, I do plan to normalise and have age appropriate discussions on the topic of how many families have different set ups as they grow older, particularly when things like school topics and significant days become more obvious.
Have you ever talked to your son about his father and the absence in his life? Has he ever asked?

His father hasn't been totally absent he has not seen him for 2 years. He said he didn't want to say that because his friend would laugh and say he "left for the milk" so didn't want him thinking he has an absent father unfortunately that's a big thing atm with kids

Why should your son feel bad? It’s his dad’s issue, nothing he can control.

Men leaving their kids is pretty widely known as a male problem . Theres also lots of deceased parents, lesbian mums, and other legitimate ways you can be without a dad without men being in the wrong. Who still thinks men “sneak out for milk”?
Are you sure you haven’t projected some of your feelings on to the situation and your son?
He should just be honest and say my dad isn’t a good father or the one I told DS” your father doesn’t like me, not you”.

Nope nothing to do with me and I’ve never used that phrase, you clearly don’t have teens if you don’t know “your dad left for the milk” is an extremely common insult now.

Like I said you clearly don’t have teens it’s a common saying amongst them as an insult