Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the responsibility and just want to scream!!

[AMAZINWOMAN]

I have two great kids, but have no support at all. I work hard, just to keep a roof over our heads.

But I find the responsibility is just so much sometimes and it makes me feel exhausted. Just the constant juggling of work, kids and housework is constant hard work.

I hear other parents with partners, and no financial problems say that it is hard being a parent, (which it is) so how am I meant to keep on going like superwoman, day in and day out

and food is getting more expensive too. It just goes on and on....
I work, but I am only a few pounds a week better off

i just feel like screaming! but im too tired

im fed up with being strong all the time-I just need a break and won't be able to have one.

so how do other lone parents cope when they feel like this?

You shout all you want!!!

Am right there with you. With 3 kids job and also full time student Exams all next week Arghhhhhh (theres my scream for the day lol

I keep in mind that this won't be forever and when the children are all grown up and decent adults it will be our doing. We will miss all this when they leave home. Theres nothing else I can say but rant away!!! xx

Some punctuation wouldn't have gone amiss in the last post sorry.

you do need a break, it's just not possible to be superwoman.

Are your dc's on half term?

Was it you who spoke of changing your job or giving up work (a while ago)becuase you were exhausted.

Sorry if not. What can you do, can you make a plan, even if you strat with small things that will make your life easier??

Prob sounds like an impossibility, but you are too important to yourself and your dc's to be so tired and stressed.

hi.i know what you mean.its really hard when you cant get a break.im with j 24/7 and somtimes i would just love to be able to hand him to someone and walk away.i am lucky to have a good friend though who understands and trys to help when she can.but tbh i dont like to keep asking because i almost feel like i should be doing it all and get shy about asking for help.if its offered ill take it but hate asking.
but we cant do it all?im luckier than most i guess because i dont have the financial strain but that doesnt mean i have money to throw away.i still have to be careful and just buy whats needed rather than what i want?
is there anyone who can give you a break at all?even for an evening?

and as for screaming.i do it and it does help.find a pillow! x

heya amazing... think your name says it all. Im not sure what advice to give. Feel in the same boat to you... the work seems never ending and when you have people around you who have a partner and a seemingly easy life moaning about how their struggling its maddening.
Im trying to complete a degree...upto my eyeballs in debt... frightened of how much petrol and food prices are rising by and just feel that i have no support as far as kids and housework are concerned. I find that I put ds to bed... try and get all the chores done and then the silence hits. Im lonely, have uni assignments to do and decorating that seems to be never ending. I just sit and cry because i dont feel like i have a life... im just existing day to day and dont really have a place or purpose in this world. Im heavily pregnant (due in 5 days) and petrified about how im going to manage once dc2 is here. Im barely surviving as it is. Sorry if my moaning has made u feel worse. Just wanted to let you no that your not alone. If we support one another on here emotionally im sure that would help with alot of lifes burdons. Big hugs x

i get mad at other parents who dont have to work and who have a lovely partner to help them do half the work, and to-ing and fro-ing!

amazinwoman - yeah at times i do, and i'm known to be an all capable, super chilled and laid back sort of fella whatevers going on. so dont feel youve the worlds' weight on your shoulders all the time. just believe you can do the things you need to and want - and call on help where you can find it.

I did the same with no support at all and working full time until eldest was 13. Elderly parents lived 150 miles away.

Looking back I don't know how I coped. In fact, I probably didn't cope. I remember my GP signing me off work and asking me to consider voluntary admission to a psychiatric unit (I refused because the DCs would have gone into care). Awful memories. I fantasized about disappearing.

I had to re-evaluate everything and lower my expectations of myself especially with work. Housework went out of the window too. The hardest thing to cope with was my disappointment in myself so I started to congratulate myself for surviving day by day and through each crisis. I used to predict the absolute worst case scenario and when it didn't happen it was a bonus and cause for more self congratulations!

It all came good and was worth it though. DD about to graduate and DS1 just finished 1st year at uni.

I'm no longer a lone parent (sorry to gatecrash) but I will never, ever forget how hard it was. So when you look at those happy looking couples maybe they have already been in a similar situation or maybe one day they will be in your shoes so don't waste any of your precious time being envious.

Keep telling yourself how wonderful you are because it is true.

congratulations from here too zoggs

Thanks singledad.

I still look back on that period as one of my best achievments ever.

I should add that I continued to work full time in the same stressful job (manager of a residential unit) with no support at home but I set myself strict limits and privately thought if they don't like it they can stick it where the sun don't shine. When I left that position (my choice after 11 years service) I got a glowing reference so I'd been killing myself for nothing really.

Always put yourself first especially if you're a lone parent.

Contratulations Zogg.

Identify with wanting to disappear. I've got 6 and sometimes I want to run away. Or just wake up and find that it's all over and I am just me again. Then I feel unnatural for not being able to cope, or wishing my children had flown the nest.

I do get a break once a week, but that still leaves 6 days a week for the next goodness-knows how many years. It's such a weight to carry, but one I can't put down, and wouldn't if I could.

Thanks everybody for taking the time out to reply. I really appreciate it as I know how busy you all are.

Zogg, I will try and remember that one day I will be like you, able to look back and see this as my proudest achievement.

I feel much better now after hearing your messages. And last night i decided to do nothing at all (even left the dishes, and now the house stinks of curry!!!)

I am normally laid back, have learned to be organised but I need to learn to let the housework go, and I feel like littlewoman sometimes, that I lose a bit of me.

I sympathise with you, just letting you know you are soooo not alone, I have two kids, am alone obviously, work aswell and my life consists of getting up, sorting kids, cleaning house, going to work, coming home, sorting kids, cleaning house some more and then by the end of the day I end up getting into bed with my kids cos I dont want to be sat downstairs on my own. Knowing there are others in the same position out there helps me, so I hope it helps you a little.

Same position here. And it's really nice to know i'm not the only one.

Got an 8 hour day at work today (no lunch break or it'd be longer). Then collect ds from holiday club, an hour's drive to get home, dinner to cook but have to do the washing up before I can as not a single clean plate or fork in the house, bath & bed for ds, sort out clothes, lunches etc for tomorrow, then bed time for me (assuming I can actually sleep with all the worry and stress i'm under, usually i stare at the ceiling into the small hours.)

My house is in such a state i hate it but no time or energy to do anything about it. I just remind myself that putting it off for one more day means it'll be a day longer before I have to do it again and try and ignore the constant critisism from my parents about the state of my house while they don't help me out at all despite living 2 mins down the road... And then I have more of the same tomorrow!

Recently told a friend (who thought i was doing better and told me to 'stay positive') that yes i am better than i was when I was feeling suicidal a couple of months back, but it's still simply a matter of getting through each day and that my life is basically miserable, awful and I see no end in sight. I have no social life and no money or friends for one. Family support is basically nil. My parents nod sympathetically and say they know how hard it is beinga single parent but offer no practicle help and expect me to go help them out instead! And I have very little other support to call on though a couple of friends do help me out from time to time when they can and a lone parent group I joined recently has been a real help in finding people in similar situations but I tend to get thought of as a stronger person there so people don't see me as needing emotional support. And as I am not putting money aside for a pension or anything what is the point in going on with it all when I have even less to look forward to in the future when my ds does finally leave home!?

Most of the time I wish I could escape, and the truth is the only reason I'm still here is because there is noone I could leave my son too. My friend didn't know what to say hwne i said life was pretty shitty and that this is me doing well. I told her that simply being able to say it to her was help in itself. Despite her being miles away and having a very poorly mother who she is rushing up and down the country at weekends to visit she is the only person I have to talk to at the moment and I do really appreciate it and try not to put too much on her as I know she has a lot to deal with already.

So I rarely get to do more than text back and forth with her and a couple of other mums I met at the lone parent group. When was the last time I had a social conversation with an adult... Hmm...even my sister doesn't phone unless she needs a babysitter and after a lot of soul searching I've made the decision now to stop offering to have her kids all the time when she never offers to have mine and is extremely reluctant to have my ds even when i ask which is not very often at all because I know she finds it stressful having 3 kids to take care of and a messy house and so i never ask unless i have no choice for work reasons! Yet she is happy to take other children along on outings to the zoo etc as I discovered recently when i was taking her kids to the zoo and had then tell me they had gone 2 days before with their mum (my sister) and a friend from their school...

Sorry for the rant, but I needed to let some of that out!

So no you're not alone. I just get through one day at a time and hope that everyone who says things will get better are right!

How to cope? All I can suggest is do the best you can, and leave the rest for another day!

woah gillybean2, you sound just as cheesed off as me, I dont mind talking to you if you are ever in need.

That's very good advice, Gillybean.

"Do the best you can, and leave the rest for another day!"

If you can't be a 'good parent' you can be a 'good enough parent', my counsellor said.

I've got 6 children and despite the fact that I can't be arsed to do half of what's involved in the task, I am a good enough parent, and that will have to do for today.

I have the friends with partners, plenty of money and family support who complain about now hard they find parenting and it makes me laugh.

I've been alone since 6 months pregnant, family live over 250 miles away and I hold down a full time (v. stressful job) and look after demanding dd. I feel like I'm always running from one thing to another - a bit like a hamster on a wheel.

Reading your posts, and knowing how hard I work to fit everything in I think we should all be proud that our children are fed, watered and loved, and give ourselves a break if the washing-up doesn't get done or we aren't perfectly presented to the world. I've learnt that bad days are just that, and will pass. When it all gets to much for me I find that dancing around the kitchen with dd and singing at the top of my voice to favourite song is a great tonic.

Amazinwoman, you are doing a great job and know that your kids will one day realise how hard mummy worked for them.

Don't mean to sound like a tree-hugger

I've also been alone since I was four months pregnant. I am in the fortunate position of having a well paid part time job and I realise that I am very lucky with that.

But I still find it really hard. I am constantly rushing and tired and have no social life and noone apart from one friend who helps. More than anything I am really lonely. Any relationships that I have tried has failed because they have failed to grasp what is entailed in dating if you are a single parent, the cost of babysitting, having to still get up at 7 the next day, weekend daytime dates out of the question...

The only respite I have found and this has been a godsend is that I have a friend who is also a single parent with four children. Her oldest are 15 and 16 and babysit for our two who are 5 about once every 3 weeks. She also occaisionally has my son for a night and I happily have hers in return. Without that I don't know how I would cope at all.

One of the things I find hardest is that friends in couples do things sometimes in groups with other families and I feel like I am inviting myself along/ it's difficult to say 'we are doing this' when I am only going to do it if others are doing it too such as camping.