Hi all
long time lurker, first post here.
My partner is struggling with his ex and just coming here for different perspectives.
They were together for about 4mo before falling pregnant (not planned) but sadly split when kiddo was about 12mo.
He pays her monthly maintenance at the correct amount and he also pays for extras like insurances and paying off her debt, and does all the driving to collect/drop off kiddo which in itself is about £500/month. And of course all the extras that come with kids like treats and trips.
His ex isn’t great at planning in advance and often drops things in on under a day’s notice like needing more money for childcare or for him to do extra days so she can work more. If he doesn’t respond how she likes she gets very angry very quickly, calls him names and purposefully texts cruel things to make him feel like he’s a bad dad. The last tirade was over a tiny amount that he said he’d pay, but didn’t feel he should, and honestly the messages she sent were disgraceful.
i’m normally on the side of defending the mum in these situations - being a lone parent is HARD, I am one myself but don’t have to deal with an ex. But in this situation it just feels she goes too far and it’s really bringing my partner down. she and I haven’t met yet though am hoping to soon, at the moment we just text each other friendly messages now and then.
I’d be really interested to hear anyone’s take on this and any suggestions of how to deal with it. I’m trying to help him set more boundaries in a kind way - as previously he’s always bowed to her aggression but it’s really taking its toll on him… but obviously it’s theirs to sort out, and I can’t get involved.
any suggestions or thoughts welcome!