If you had your time again?

[TheNumberBlocks]

I know it’s not good to have regrets but if you had your time again and knew you was going to end up as a single parent is there anything you would change/ do differently? For me it’s I would have just had one child (I don’t regret my children just if I knew how tough life would be or that I would be doing it alone)

I'd have done it sooner. I stayed in a crappy marriage for too long because I was scared of being a single parent.

Same. I'd have left sooner.

I’d have given the children my surname instead of his. I don’t mind that they have a different surname to me, but I find it incredibly irritating that I often get called Mrs Hisname when we weren’t even married in the first place!

100% this. I don’t like having regrets - but this is a hard one to shake

My surname

Gone back to work

Not get married

Learned to drive earlier

Definitely gone back to work

Upskilled

No, I wouldn't change anything, I wouldn't have said that even two weeks ago but it's amazing how quickly I'm feeling better about myself now he's gone and I'm taking back control. I'm sure there are many challenges ahead but I forgot how bloody good I was at facing things.

Oh yes that’s one as well, my oldest has both mine and exes surname but no one ever uses mine so she’s only called under his and I have also been called under his surname as they assume we have the same surname.

I would never have married him nor moved countries

I would have pursued a better paying job

I would not have become a parent at all.
I would not have got married as I earned more than him.

Snap. It's annoying in the airport too.

Yes, luckily their dad is quite good at signing permission letters for holiday, but it would be doubly stressful if he didn’t!

@secret I've never asked DC father for a letter. I just feel DC should of had my surname. Too late now though

This makes me feel a big Better about having just one child as I feel such a broody yearning for a baby but no partner

If it happened through a ONS what would you do though? Asking as that's a possibility for me right now. See my thread. Total disaster.

I’d never have a baby knowing I was going to be raising it alone never ever again, it’s not worth it imo. But others feel differently and some are happy with their decision so it’s such a personal thing.

@TheNumberBlocks I think it depends on circumstances. My DC is 10. His dad is around, I do the bulk but he's paid for him over the years. Again these are all key factors and support network. I'd do it all again with my DC theres been odd days where when it's been hard I thought I wouldn't. I love DC dearly and the good has out weighed the bad.

Yeah my children's father doesn’t see them, totally disappeared so no chance of me ever doing it again if I knew I would be raising them alone.

Same, I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping the family together for my daughter. Things improved so much for me + her as soon as he moved out.

Realistically I wouldn’t have become a parent because I never wanted children, but probably what I would have done was be a single parent from the start instead of wasting a decade with an abuser.

I would have left DD with my mum while I finished uni and take it from there. We would have been in a much better position long term.

I would have stuck with 1 child.

I'm glad with things - ive got one and I'm one and done

I would have her via sperm donor if I could though - then maybe i could've had two