Feel so done

[SugaSugaS]

Does anyone else feel so done sometimes?
I’m so jealous of parents that get weekends to themselves, I joined some support groups but I get jealous of parents saying how they have child free nights/ weekends planning trips away etc I know some will say they are jealous of me but I’m so done, the weekends come and I have nothing left to give. Dread a whole new week starting again.

I apologise.
I was only going on the information you gave in your post. Unless someone says otherwise it’s not unreadable to assume their married life is ok. I did also say at the end that if the partner is an arse then it changes things.

I didn’t say I didn’t have any family

....

That asks if I have family that will help I have family, they won’t help me so unfortunately not.

It does indeed say that quite clearly

Why haven't you made a mum friend over the years? It must be so lonely.

Didn’t say that either just that they won’t babysit

Have you ever asked them? You might be surprised. Why not ask?

You did. I'm not sure what you want from this post. Unfortunately when you are a single mum you have to improvise. Your kids aren't exactly babies. So I dont see any harm with asking a friend to watch your DC one evening then returning the favour.

Op I feel like a lot of people are piling on to say it’s your fault you’re lonely and exhausted and can’t squeeze another drop etc.

It’s not your fault. And even if it were a little bit your fault, you still deserve sympathy and a virtual hug. It is not your easy raising kids alone.

As for a child free weekend: could you save up some money and get a babysitter in the daytime at the weekend? Maybe arrange for the eldest to have a play date with a friend and then get a babysitter for the little ones and then go out for a few hours?

Where did I say I have no friends I said they won’t have my children

Thank you, not sure why certain people comment to be rude tbh.

I was on my own, parents dead, not speaking to brother and not a soul offered to help. I’ve got loads of friends and constant invites for socialising, doesn’t mean they want to look after your child. Then you have babysitters letting you down last minute and it’s expensive and your date can cancel last minute leaving you to pay £50 for nothing. It’s sucks, glad my son is grown up.

I’m not being rude, just asking questions , do you work ? If not are the kids not at school all day ? If you do then yes I can imagine that’s hard going.

@snughugs I dont have any mum friends that would pay a baby sitter. I think its not practical. Personally I don't mind helping my friends. Toddlers are more harder work but older kids aren't a problem as such. I'm having my friends Son next weekend for the day so she can spend 1 to 1 time with her DD. She's got no family in England & her childrens father suddenly passed away recently.

So I'm not being rude just trying to suggest to team up with another single mum as you can relate to one and other.

I have no family who can help either OP - one is widowed and we are LC, two live hours away and are in poor health. I rely on me.
I cannot afford a babysitter on my crap salary.
I also don't have friends here, I moved back with two ND children alone just before COVID and haven't made any.
I have acquaintances and neighbours on small talk terms only, and I have work colleagues I am close to but would not dream of asking them to look after my kids.
My break is when they are asleep or sometimes I sit in my car outside for ten minutes when we've got back. Sad but true.
So I get it OP, I really do.
I WhatsApp ed myself with I AM DONE when one kicked off this evening.
But then I get up, onwards and upwards and do it all again the next day.
Surviving not thriving but still here. There will be many of us in that boat. MN is my safe space. If you all want to judge me for being a Billy-no-mates go right ahead, but finances, autistic teens and me feeling pretty empty right now means I'm concentrating on little things for the moment: chatting on here, a nice piece of cake, a book.
Finch app OP is for kids but helpful. This too shall pass, lovely Xx

I know you mean well roots and are taking a logic-based practical approach, which has worked for you.Well done to you [not sarcasm] I just think if the OP is anything like me, they probably just wanted to vent. They also probably can't add another for reciprocal babysitting if they have four of their own. Plus, tbh, I know we all have lots in common once you start chatting but to assume, two women will become besties just because they're lone parents - if that's all they've got in common - sounds a bit unrealistic. But probably me being anti-social ha!

I obviously meant OPs current friends. Not just OP trying to make friends with someone new and then saying do you fancy baby sitting next week. That's a stretch 🤣

I have single parent friends but they either share 50/50 with their ex or they have eow and guess what when they don’t have their own kids surprisingly (not) they don’t want to have mine! And when they do they want to spend quality time with them. They don’t need to swap babysitting favours as their exes/ family are involved. My sister is a teacher and made it absolutely clear to me she would do NO babysitting because she “doesn’t even want to see kids outside of school” as she’s with them all week, her words. An emergency sure they would help but not always then either as they have their own lives.

You never replied to the question of if you’re working or not ? If not what do you do for six hours a day, that’s plenty of time alone without the kids, if you work then yes I get it’s hard but there’s problem another million people with the same issues.

Because it’s not relevant you don’t get to decide who is exhausted and who isn’t!

And don’t comment if you don’t understand I never asked if you feel I have a right to be exhausted or not lone parenting, if you are not in that situation frankly F off as your opinion isn’t relevant I asked if anyone was in the same boat or could relate.

I wasn’t being rude just don’t understand how you can be exhausted if you get 5 x 6 hours a day to do whatever you want. Different if you work all week and don’t get any break at all, that’s how it was relevant.