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Planning on leaving partner

3 replies

Mummytoonee · 05/07/2025 13:39

Hi everyone,
i am hoping for some advice if anyone can help.
I am going to leave my partner of 8 years. we have a wonderful little boy together who is nearly 2.
he adores our son but is selfish, he goes out most weekends with friends drinking and playing / watching sport. After a night out and coming home hungover he will say he will spend the following weekend as a family but when the weekend comes it doesn’t happen and he’s made other plans. It feels like he purposely starts arguments with me to go out and will disappear all weekend. I know it sounds silly but he barely speaks to me. We do not have adult conversations when our son is in bed he will just ignore me and sit on his phone or watch TV.
it came to a head last night when I had planned to go out with a family member for a meal and a few drinks. He said it wasn’t fair I was going out again (I work evenings so he puts our son to bed 3 nights a week) he came home from work and immediately appeared angry and anything I said he mocked or took offence to. The way he speaks to me sometimes can be awful and I wouldn’t let anyone else speak to me like that. He gives me a set amount of money a week to pay for what he sees as his board and lodging to pay for bills and the house but everything else is on me (we pay 50/50 bills). He earns considerably more than me but it is all gone within a few days with nothing to show for it.
I have tried everything to build a family unit but he is too selfish.
he left again last night and no doubt he will come back on Sunday evening like most weekends excepting to come back home and carry on as normal after ignoring me all weekend.
can anyone advice how I stick to my guns and do not let him back. I’m drained with it all and I feel like a lone parent anyway. I am scared to be on my own but I know it’s for the best. I don’t want my little boy to see us argue and think it’s normal or use the words my partner calls me.
i just feel so weak but his behaviour is making me miserable.

Thankyou

OP posts:
PersephoneParlormaid · 06/07/2025 07:34

Ok, so you’re not married.
Is any child benefit paid into your own account?
Do you own or rent your home, if you rent whose name is on the agreement and how long left?
How will you cover child care when working, do you think he will be reasonable?

Allthatshines1992 · 07/10/2025 00:10

If you own this house (with a mortgage) that you're living in the ball is in your court. If you're renting you may need to wait until the end of the tenancy and then rent someone cheaper and he can go and live in a HMO or something and see kiddo at the weekends.

chachahide · 07/10/2025 00:13

How did it go Op? I hope you followed through with it, for your sake.

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