he says he wants to be there but never shows up

[RoughRoundEdges89]

just needed a rant soz xx

bf keeps sayin he wants to be there for me n the baby but then every time i ask him to come round or help he’s got a reason why he cant
missed midwife cos of work
said he’d pop round saturday but didn’t
keeps sayin he’s tired or busy but im tired too n still dealin with 4 kids on my own 😩

feel like im doin this whole thing by myself again
he talks nice but i dont see any action
he says he cares but then disappears til it suits him

not sure what to even say to him anymore
just feels lonely n like i got myself into another mess 🙃

anyone else been here? xx

Just carry on without him. Having any expectations will lead to disappointment.

Keep a record of each failure to show. Preferably by emailing him.

yeah i think ur right tbh x i keep hopin he’ll change but deep down i kinda know he wont

i ain’t even got the energy to chase anymore. just feels sad coz when i told him i was pregnant he was all like “we’ll do this together”

might start writin it all down like u said just in case i need it later on

thanks for replyin xx means a lot tonight

Why is he not helping with the other 4? Are they not his?

nah the other 4 aint his x this’ll be his first

he knew i had kids before we got together n said he was fine with it but he don’t really get involved with them at all

like he’ll say hi if he’s here but he don’t help with bedtime or anythin like that. i think he finds it all a bit much tbh

just wish he’d step up a bit more before baby even gets here 😔 feel like im already doin it alone again xx

Honestly… this is kinda on you. Why on earth are you having a child with a man who isn’t living with you and is already a flake?

Plus you already have 4. I’m sure you understand contraception by now.

A lot of women make the mistake if having a baby with a boyfriend thinking that it solidifies the relationship but it does just the opposite. By the third ir fourth bf you should have realized this.

It doesn’t just “feel like” you are doing this on your own: it is true that you are doing it on your own.

Face up to that reality.

If you choose to keep him as a boyfriend (that is still have sex with him) that is on you. Its actually a FWB relationship but you don’t realize it. He isn’t interested in being a family man and parenting his own child much less the other three.

Sounds like a shitshow. Hopefully CMS is being paid and this isn’t all on the taxpayer.

alright i get it x i knew postin here wud get a few harsh ones but still stings a bit

i didn’t plan this baby n i defo didn’t do it thinkin it’d fix things. was on pill but stuff happens yeah? not makin excuses just sayin how it was

i know im doin it on my own again n yeah that’s on me. just wanted a bit of support not a pile on

not like im sittin here expectin him to be dad of the year. i just hoped he’d show up when he said he would x

i’ll sort what i gotta sort like i always do x cheers to ones that replied kind anyway 💐

It’s not a pile on, it’s a reality check - you have many options besides the pill if it’s not something that works for you.

All in all you’re better off booting him now. The last thing you need is to be postpartum with the added stress of a flaky loser.

I never understand the contraception conversations when baby is on the way .

where are the other Dc dad ? Does he help at all ?

re boyfriend and your other 4 .. He may never help ?

I would have a conversation about how you see things going forward . When are you seeing him ? What does he bring to the relationship ? Think about this objectively . Because it doesn’t sound like a lot