Absent father guilt

[gracehannah]

Hey everyone,
I’m really struggling with something and just need a place to talk it through.

I can’t stop feeling this overwhelming guilt that my son doesn’t have his dad in his life. His father is basically absent — no real involvement, no support — and it honestly eats me up inside. I keep thinking, what if I’ve failed him already? I worry about what he’ll feel when he’s older, what questions he’ll ask, and if he’ll blame me for not having that relationship.

It just keeps going round in my head — like I’ve robbed him of something important. Even though deep down I know I made the best decision for both of us, it still hurts. I show up every day, I give him all my love, I try so hard to be everything he needs… but I can’t shake the feeling that it’s not enough.

Have any of you been through something similar? How do you move past the guilt and stop it from consuming you?
I really want to be at peace with it — for my own sake and for his — but it’s hard.

Would really appreciate any advice or just hearing from someone who’s felt the same. 💛

Your son, has you, he is loved and you have no reason to feel guilty, other people’s failings are not your fault. Some children have abusive dad’s and some even have dad’s that cut them off when they divorce, so even when your son feels sad or disappointed he doesn’t have one in his life, he’s not traumatised.
I think your son is very lucky to have you as his mum x

No advice but sending love. My son is 2yo. Some days the guilt eats me up, but there are now more days where I feel like what I do and the love I provide may be enough. Nobody can predict the future for you and your beautiful baby, but you simply keep going. I am sure you are doing a wonderful job. Your son will see that.

Is his father absent from his life through the father's own choice, or through yours?

No advice, but couldn’t read it without saying you are not alone in feeling this way. Some days it doesn’t bother me and other days it breaks my heart.

Do you force dad to not be involved?
How can you be guilty for someone else behaviour?
Just focus on giving your ds a good life