Anyone else hate the thought of their child being an only?

[confusedmamma]

Can anyone help me with this. I split up with DH 18 months ago. I am 43 and my DS is 6.
The thing about the separation, impending divorce , all that I think I can deal with, what hurts me most and sometimes makes me spit with rage is the idea that my lovely DS will never have a sibling. I have one older sister and we are incredibly close, and that I will never have another child. My exh and I have talked about having a child together but separately if you know what I mean, but at my age I have to be realistic.
I am trying to come to terms wih it and am finding it really hard. Can someone please tell me all the advantages there are to being an only child / bringing up an only child etc.

I am really nurturing and I feel cheated. Help !!!

I feel like this too and am facing the reality that it is unlikely I will have another even though I would very much like one. Even if i did my son would still be more or less an only child given that he is already 9 and the gap would be rather large to be a close sibling I feel.

Maybe you'll find a new partner one day who has children and the step children will become close. I had a bf for a while who had a daugter and teh kids loved having a sort of sibling though it was very hard on my son when we seperated so I would be far more warry at introducing the children into a situation in future until I was very sure.

Good things though are less arguments, more one on one time, less sleepless nights and less time off work when they are ill one after another. Also means you have more money for treats, days out and holidays etc. And no complaints of you love him/her more than me! Least that's why I'm trying to convinve myself

It is hard, but honestly, your chances of getting pregnant at 43 tend to be quite low so even if you were together with your ex, you might not be able to have another baby. Was there a reason why you did not have a second child a couple of years after the first? If you really yearn for having a bigger family, is adoption a possibility for you? Single children of course can be very happy, highly successful and good fun to be with, and, I suspect, a lot less stressful when you are a single parent. Would it help if you made a vow to really, really enjoy your son. Lots of treats. Lunch out. Playdates with other kids, and make the most of time when he's with his dad to enjoy your life.

I have 2 sisters who I am close to and very occasionally I feel sad that ds won't have that when he's older. However, my dad and his sister have a 10 year age gap and they've never had a close bond, same with my Mum and her sister, infact a number of my friends don't get along with their siblings most of the time either.

I have lots of close friends who have children of a similar age and all the children get on really well and I like to think that when they're all grown up and I'm not here anymore he'll get support from these friends like I get from my sisters. Does that make sense?

Does he have cousins? I think that'd be a good alternative to siblings! Especially as they go back to their own house and ds gets you all to himself!!

At this stage, I feel like I won't have another baby, though I'd really love to and as far as my age is concerned I could. However, the guilt I feel every day over the fact that ds has never known and probably never will know his dad is more than enough to stop me having another.

Thanks so much for your advice. I know at 43 it's unlikely I could conceive, but on the other hand late fertility is common on both sides of my family so I live in hope. Both my grandmothers were 40 having children and my mum conceived at 43.
I got quite ill after the birth of my son, when he was about 2 and I didn't conceive and then I miscarried when I was 41. We had sex once that month and I conceived so I love in hope. I know I am clinging on to foolish dreams and I need to let go but I find it hard. Thanks for your words gillybean2, I worry that if it ever did happen the gap would be very big as he is know 6, but there's 5 years between myself and my sister and that was fine. I know I'm lucky to have such a lovely healthy bright boy. I would love to come to terms with this, but as I said my overriding feeling is of being cheated.