Kids bedtimes for working parents

[MoonlightDream]

I sometimes hear from other mums and “online expert recommendations” that kids would come home from childcare or school, have an early tea/dinner around 5:30pm and start then start their bedtime routine and basically be in bed asleep by 7/8pm. Is this true??

I have a young toddler and by the time I get home from work around 6:30pm, I try my best to cook a quick dinner so the earliest we get into bed is 8pm (I do all the classic bedtime habits, dark room, soothing voice, keep it consistent etc). Admittedly as a new mum and doing it solo, maybe I'm just not catching the trick to this and I have a difficult toddler that didn't sleep through the night until 14 months old, and even then still sometimes wakes up, and still haven't learnt to fall asleep independently.

I get a lot of help on the days I'm working from grandparents, but toddler won't sleep with anyone (not without putting up a fight for 2 hours) unless it's with me. We tend to sleep around 9-10pm and wake around 7am. I'm just worried I'm stunting their growth with insufficient sleep.

Mine are still in bed for 7:30 at 8 and 6!

As toddlers they were in bed for 6:45/7.

But they are larks and up early so they needed to go to bed early to get enough sleep. If yours sleeps later, it's fine if they go to bed later.

They used to eat at nursery and so I wasn't having to do an extra meal for them in the evenings. (They now eat at after school club on a school night)

You mean still in bed in the morning 7:30am or go to bed at 7:30pm?

@MoonlightDream

it's more about your down time lovely.

Where is your youngster until 6.30pm?

Could they give dinner before then and it would then be bath, bed and relax for you?

In bed at 7:30.

They are up early.. 6:30

So that's 11hrs of sleep, compared to my 2 year old having about 9hrs. Am I just worrying too much or is that normal?

I think you’re worrying to much about this. Do you wake your toddler in the morning or do you they wake up themselves?

could you speed up dinner at all? 90mins from getting home to dinner surely couldn’t be shortened (if you’re concerned)
We get home from nursery about 6pm, toddlers dinner is pre 6:30pn. Either it’ll be a snacky dinner as she has tea also at nursery, or it’ll be a batch cooked portion from the freezer. We don’t do bathtime every night, and then we spend the next hour chilling, reading books and getting ready for bed for toddler to be in bed by 7:30. She now might not fall asleep for another 30-45mins but is happy singing and winding down in her cot. Then she’ll wake at 7:30am

I think all children have different sleep needs.

How is your 2 year old's behaviour and mood?

Does she wake naturally in the morning or do you wake her?

One of the reasons why we prioritised early bedtimes is that our children are clearly happier when they get more sleep. But yours may be just fine on what she has

I try to eat together and then bathe together so maybe that’s where I’m going wrong. I tend to batch cook meals but there would be times when I need to whip something up mid-week so not always able to have a quick dinner. Toddler is a bit of a fussy eater, sometimes manages to finish it in 30mins and that’s quick in our books but often times it’ll last an hour.

Not much you can do if you don't get home until 6:30. We're home at 5, dinner 5:30 and bed for 7/7:30 for 3 and 8 year old. Means I then get a couple of hours downtime before I go to bed

Mostly cheerful and happy but I do notice they get grouchy on anything less than 8.5hrs or if they've been waking up a couple times at night, they would end up more tired during the day. Tends to wake up on their own in the morning, or by my getting up to get ready for work. I've rarely ever had to wake them up from sleep unless it's past 8:30am since I know it would then push their usual daily routine back too much

You can only do what you can do. My daughter is 5. She's in bed by 6.30pm but my husband picks her up from school every day and I'm home just after half 4 so we're able to do this.

Batch cook so you can hear dinner up quickly. I remember when mine were little and I worked I’d get home around 6pm and before I knew it it was bedtime routine which was lively but it was blink and you miss it.
My youngest finishes her GCSE s this year and not so I miss the years she and her brother before her were small

My 3 year old has early tea at 4.30/5 followed by a bath. Then asleep by 6.45. Hes up anywhere between 5.30-7.

I need the early bed time for my own downtime in the evenings.

Please don't worry yourself over much. It's only in the UK that people send the children to bed so early, then wonder why their children are early risers! In Europe children go to bed much later. Do whatever works for you and your child.

Quite frequently we don't even get dinner on the table until 8pm here.

@MoonlightDreamsounds like your kid might be low sleep needs if they wake themselves in the am. My oldest is like this, 9 hours since about 3. Don't worry about bedtime just because, if it all works for your child and family.

My 6 and 3yo both go to bed at 8, asleep by 9. Eldest wakes himself by 6...

Exactly. I don’t understand why my coworker constantly whines about his kid being up at ridiculous times when they ship him off to bed by 7pm.

@MoonlightDream mine always went to bed around 9pm, much like every other kid I knew.

Same here @IberianBlackout We have just never had early bed times in our house as it's too restrictive having to rush home early. I couldn't deal with a kid getting up at 6 every day either so it suits me. I didn't grow up with a bed time, we just went when we were tired or it suited what we were doing, so maybe it's just what is normal to me. My youngest is super low sleep needs though (awaiting assessment) and I think he could easily pull all nighters if I don't stop him (he's 9 so I do!)

I work full time, dc go to breakfast club and after school club, but just miss the cut off for their tea, tbh they prob wouldn’t eat it anyway and they never eat at breakfast club either! Dc are 7 and 9
we get home at 4:30, eat at about 5.30, dp (their dad) gets in from work at about 7, so after he eats we go upstairs and all chill, dc in beds at 8:30, they get themselves up with their alarm at 6:00 so they prob rise by 6:15…

My son is 7 next month and has always needed a good 11 hours sleep. On days I am off work he is in bed and lights out by 7pm. When I am working a long day I don't get home until 7.30pm so he is then in bed by 8pm. He tends to wake about 7am.

I need a lot of sleep too so I tend to be in bed by 9pm so every minute of my evenings count!

We used to get in around 5.30 when mine were small , they’d usually had a light tea at nursery / after school club. My youngest would be asleep on the sofa by 6.45 latest!! I always tried to get her upstairs before that but usually failed!! They still went to bed by 7.30 until the younger was 8 or 9! We got up at 6.45 / 7.

At 2 my son went to bed around 6:45/7- as iggle piggle said good night.

he ate at nursery and we’d get home around 6. He moved nursery to one closer to home at we’d be home by 6:15.

By 3 he was still hungry after nursery so it would be quick and easy teas. Bed by 7:30

Now he’s 5-home from wraparound care around 6:15- dinner on the table around 6:45.
bath every other night or play. Then bed by 8.

I still get my evenings then

Remember nap times add to his overall sleep. So if he's having a long nap at nursery, he won't need as much at night

To be fair, a lot of kids do just wake up at the same time irrespective of the time they went to bed <eyes DS> so if your child is up at 5, then yes, they need to be in bed at 7 so they are getting enough sleep. If it was as simple as sending them to bed at 9 = waking at 7, I imagine most of the 5am club would do it.

To be fair, mine wake at the same time regardless of what time they go to bed. So the early bedtime is important to make sure they actually get enough sleep.

Luckily, we're all morning people!