**Please** advise if you can - in such a muddle (child support)

[Flook]

Situation is - just split with DP. still living together while I get income support etc arranged and find rented accomodation to move into with DD.
IS have arranged for child support people to call me today.
Whatever happens, benefits will be a very short term measure. I will be going back to work.
The problem is, DP has been, is, and will be for some time, paying almost all his salary to debts that we have both incurred over many years.
I was hoping that I could get full income support for the short time before i start working, without him having to pay maintenance.
I really dont want to drop him in the shit over this. Even one month of maintenance could really affect the debts and he has been doing so well in getting them down.
He is already devestated that we are leaving, I just dont want to make it even worse for him.
Really, I just dont know how it all works.
Do I have any say in this? Is it obligatory that he pays support? If I say that I dont want him to have to pay will my IS be stopped?
Thanks so much for any advice - I feel swamped.

If you're getting IS then the CSA will be involved for maintanance.

TBH if he can't pay it that is his problem, not yours, which he has to wrk out with the CSA. Maaybe they take into account debt repayments but whatever his financial situation he really should support his DD regardless.

I'm in a similar postion in that H is paying all of his salary towards debts, half the mortgage (which is in his name) for this place where I'm still living, and his rent for where he's staying now.

I'm just waiting on a "good cause" interview with the CSA to persuade them that it's not in my or the DC's best interests to pursue him for child support.

I'm 99.99% certain that if he was chased for it, then yes he would find the money somehow, but at the same time would see less of them as he wouldn't be able to afford it..

TBH I'd rather he sees them regularly than gives me money (and as I'm on IS so I'd only get £10 a week of it anyhow!) - and as I've recently realised I've actually been paying out 95% of money for the DS's upbringing as it is....

Message withdrawn

Thank you.
(OMDB, i should add that he will not protest in any way about paying child suport. Its just me fretting on his behalf)
Well, they just called and the lady could tell i was in a muddle over it all and has said that they will give me 14 days to think it all over before proceeding.
I just did an online child support calculation and if he has dd for a certain amount of days - cant remember, maybe avg 3 per week - he will be expected to pay £24 per week which I think he could just about manage.
But he wont really be having her that mount f time in the short term (probably would over the course of a year though during annual leave etc)but not in the next conth or two when I will actually need income support.
So if we arrange that he pays £24 pw, will my IS be deducted by £24 pw only (which would be fine)or will they reduce it by more on the assumption that I will only have DD 4 days pw? (which, of course isn't actually the case in the short term).
If I can figure this out we can avoid going down the special circumstances route and keep things on an informal basis as things are amicable.
Sorry to be so clueless, but i have no one else to ask about this.

Oh god - have i confused everyone?
I tend to ramble

If you tell the CSA that yor ex will have dd overnight 3 times a week on average they will reduce the calculation accordingly. If it turns out that he doesn't have her 3 nights a week afterall you can always apply for a variation in the future should you wish too. On the other hand you may prefer to leave things as they are...

However if things don't remain amicable and you find yourself in court in the future your ex might point to the fact that you agreed to him having her 3 overnights a week and so he should get this as it was agreed. Something to keep in mind when making a decision here.

If you are on benefits the CSA will automatically try and recover the benefits payments to you from your partner. You have no say in this and will be expected to provide them with the info they ask for. You will keep the first £10 of any amount though this will be changing to £20 (or may have already i'm not sure). You can try and reduce the amount your ex pays by upping the number of overnights your ex has your dd, or trying the special circumstances route.

Once you are off benefits you can tell the CSA you have come to your own agreement with your ex and that you no longer require their services. So if you intend to find work then the sooner you do this the better.

Course the reality is that your children will require money for you to care for them and it is right and proper for your ex to pay a fair amount for this. Remember his costs before you split include paying for things for the children, so is it likely to cost him any more now in reality? While you might feel bad about things and not wish to drop him in it you will quickly find that running a house as a single parent (on benefits or working) is not easy and you might find yourself in need of that extra money quite quickly.

Your ex can of course go back to the companies he has debts with and explain the change in circumstances and his income and ask for a recalculation of his repayments accordingly. Has he had some proper advice on reducing the interest and managing his debts? Also you don't say whether any of these debts are in your name and if you might end up with responsibility for repaying them once seperated. Is that something you have thought about?

Gilly