Need to vent

[HelloSunshine100]

I’m a single parent to a 8 year old who is also autistic and likely adhd. No contact at all with other parent since birth and that has been his choice and he has not initiated or made any attempts to have contact. Tbh our relationship was very toxic bordering on him potentially being quite abusive and controlling at times.
up until now things have been okay but I’m really starting to struggle and feel overwhelmed. Just life and all of life admin and stuff that needs to be done is overwhelming. I work part time and have a stressful job and feel like I’m barely coping. There is always so much to do and I feel exhausted and I’m really feeling the term ‘single’ parent as I am completely solo. Also the mental load of running a home, earning money making sure I’m organised so my child has everything they need. Parenting is hard and I feel my mental health is not good. I need a break. I don’t message friends back and know it’s rude but I just don’t have the mental energy to engage in chat. My family help out and are supportive but I normally have to ask and no one would willingly volunteer or offer to have my child so I can catch a break
is being burnt out as a single parent such a thing?

I hear you. Yes, being burned out as a single parent is a thing.

I'm in the same boat, my DD is 13 now and Autistic/ ADHD as am I. As I get older (I'm 53) it gets more tiring and I suffer with Autistic burnout. I've not had a child free night for over 8 years. This is because my parents are now elderly and my DD won't stay with anyone else. She will only be with me and even sleeps in my bed. I had to give up work in the end, mainly because I'm disabled, but I couldn't do regular hours due to her needs, appointments, admin and dropping everything to rush to school when things go tits up.

So I definitely hear you. As far as advice goes , I've been offered help via our local Autism society and also via our Local Authority. It isnt something that would work for us, but might for you (usually involves your DC signing up for projects with other Autistic kids during summer hols or weekends etc which gives you a break, or a carer to take DC out fot the day) You can contact them regarding having a parental assessment to see what help and support they could offer. I haven't taken up this offer, but it came about as part of my DDs EHCP Needs assessment process.

It's so draining. Sending gentle hugs. The only other thing is trying to make them understand that 'Mum just needs 5 minutes' and going into the garden for a breather. I usually have to say this about 10 times as DD follows me.

Also, do tell school that you're struggling as they are often able to offer support (even if it's just to allow you to offload)

It's so hard, and so restricting. You aren't alone, though

I'm sorry that was a bit garbled. I'm just getting up for school run. Happy to pop back later if you want to chat.