7 year olds absent dad wants contact

[ThatFancyLurker]

My child has never met their father, due to the father disappearing. I applied for CMS and he contacted asking to see him, his mother also called me being very rude and threatened me with court.

My son does not ask about him and I very gently brought it up, he got very anxious and doesn’t want to meet him. I don’t know where to go from here, has anyone had any past experiences or ideas on where I should go from here?

CMS and access are two different things.

If you don’t think him having a relationship would be beneficial then do nothing. It’s on him to apply to the court for access, which he may not decide to do. You can’t stop him applying but also a lot of men won’t actually do it as it costs them and requires effort.

Dad could start with contact by letter card and build up from there. He's essentially a stranger.

(sorry posted too soon)

Essentially a stranger and needs to build up contact gradually at your kids pace.

You could progress to meeting in a public space etc.

You are entitled to maintainance for the fact he's not taking care of the child.

In regards to care, if you believe that they are not going to be beneficial to meet them then you should be very clear and state the reasons why you think this is the case.

It is the right of the child to have contact with a parent if the parent desires to be part of their lives and it isn't negative to the child. Courts often will see it badly if you refuse without a good reason because the child's rights are to have a relationship with both parents if it will be a positive interaction, it is seen in the child's best interests.

@ThatFancyLurker - why don’t you want your child to have contact? My child’s father is absolutely hopeless - inconsistent/ selfish/ an alcoholic/ pays no maintenance. I still think it’s in the child’s interest to have contact (if there is no abuse) as I think we all have a need to know our origins - children included. I’m not saying 50/50 residency would be in your guide interests but I think there’s a value in knowing the father and paternal relatives and occasional supervised contact is worth considering

I would personally meet him , have a discussion .

if he goes to court he will get contact .

it needs to be slow .

My child ( now adult ) hasn’t seen his dad since he was 3 but was unsafe . Teen years were harder for him without a father figure .

So he's had absolutely no interest in this child for 7 years, now of a sudden He wants to see him as a way to get out of paying? What a acumbag.