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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Just need to share my frustrations

3 replies

aquascorpio · 03/04/2025 15:44

Firstly, I do appreciate I am not a lone parent entirely. But I have 3 year old twins, and their Dad only has them for 2 nights every other week. So 12 days out of 14, they are with me.

They are lovely children, but extremely high energy and I have to keep a constant eye on them.

On top of this I work in a job which is highly pressured, I’m not in a position to reduce my hours. Every morning is an early start before getting them to preschool, then I am working. I rely on family to do the pick ups and bringing them home, then I finish work, do the bedtime routine etc… by the time they’re in bed I’m totally wiped out and exhausted.

I take care of everything, preschool fees, clothes, medical, shopping, food, household bills etc. Then once a fortnight their Dad will pop up and collect them, they’ll be over the moon because he’s got the energy and the time to be “fun dad” and then they return 2 days later; out of sorts, hyped on sh*t food etc etc…

Ex-DH does pay CM but it barely covers what it costs to keep things going.

I was married to their Dad for 10+ years and we split (due to his infidelities) when the twins were less than a year old and I’ve been doing it alone ever since.

when will this all get easier? I feel like I’m constantly in fight or flight mode. Always tired. Never truly able to enjoy parenting the way I thought I would because there’s always something that needs my attention to keep things running!

OP posts:
rockingbird · 03/04/2025 21:12

That sounds incredibly tough work! Can he do more? Seems a little unfair you’re doing so much with twins so young.

aquascorpio · 04/04/2025 10:58

@rockingbirdit is 😩. No I’ve asked/pleaded. He says he’s got to work (so have I?!). He also moved away meaning he’s not nearby just to pop in which makes things even harder.

OP posts:
rockingbird · 09/04/2025 05:21

What a d*ck! Does he have parents nearby who can pitch in?! It might be worth looking at going part time until they are in school, is this an option? You’d likely be better off time wise and get some sort of universal credit support. My ExH has just moved 150 miles away to be closer to his new business unit and family.. how he intends to keep continuing every other weekend contact is laughable! I’m furious but think the distance between us will help me move on in life. 🙏

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