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anyone got any experience of moving away from ex

7 replies

EmilyD · 13/05/2008 11:58

My boyfriend and i (been together nearly a year) have decided to take the next step and i am going to move into his house once mine has sold with my son. We have spoken about marriage etc but i don't feel the need to rush into this at present. Problem is its 3.5 hours from my ex husband and he is causing a stink. He left me for someone else 2 years ago and is marrying her this year, he is moving on which i am happy about now but it appears i am not allowed to move on unless it is by staying in the same area of which i am not happy. My son loves my boyfriend and his daughter and is a very adaptable little boy and he also loves my ex and fiance. There are more opportunities for all of us where we would be moving.

i have said i will ensure contact and drive the majority of the way for my son to see him every 2 or 3 weeks and he can have him as much as he wants in holidays. I can understand he will miss the contact in the week but can anyone really expect you not to move on with your life. I have been called everthing under the sun and even his fiance joined in on the act emailing me and calling me all sorts of things. I fully intend to encourage contact as i realise the importance of a father.

My ex currently has my son every other weekend (one full weekend, one half) I asked him to have him every other full weekend a while ago and he refused on several occassions. He also has him every Tuesday eve. Now suddenly since i let him know my intentions he wants him every other full weekend which i have agreed to and an additional thursday which i have not as i don't think it is good during school for my son to be at 2 different houses every other night.

he has threatened going for residency etc. I have agreed to mediation with him but not sure what that will achieve as i am not going to change my mind about moving, there are so many unhappy memories and stress here with the constant reminder of what he did to us I just can't stand being here anymore. I want a fresh start somewhere else with my son and boyfriend.

Has anyone got experience in this.?

OP posts:
WiiMii · 13/05/2008 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tinkerbel6 · 13/05/2008 13:38

Emily you are entitled to move on and provide a happy home for yourself and your son so go ahead, if your ex was that concerned about his son then he wouldn't have had an affair and split the family up, as for the g/f I would tell your ex that she isnt anything to do with you so stop the sh1tty emails as you don't want someone like that around your child, I would also keep any correspondence you receive from both of them as evidence if it every went to court.

piratecat · 13/05/2008 18:07

2nd what everyone says.

my mate is moving across the atlantic.

your ex should think on, and should really get a reality check about how 'life' canchange.

like you had to.

good luck!!!! good for you!!

alittleone2 · 13/05/2008 20:59

Message withdrawn

Nursejo · 13/05/2008 21:10

I agree with all said here.My ExH moved out and away to the I-O-M.He used to visit twice a year,but this has declined to once a year now he has a new family.He keeps in contact by phone.Cant he have him for alt. weekends,and Friday night/saturday morning on the in-between week.That way this wont be a problem with school nights,and will give you a Friday night free twice a month.If you take him on the Friday,he could bring him back on the Saturday,and split the drive for the whole weekend one as well.Don't feel obliged to do all the driving.Its inevitable one of you will move further away eventually.If he had moved away, you'd probably have shared the running about,so whats different if its you..

ANTagony · 16/05/2008 07:21

My boys (2 and 4) skype with their grandparents (my ex's parents) because they live 6 hours away so we only see them in person 3 or 4 times a year. Its great. If older one does a picture or gets a sticker at school he skypes them to show off. I think for little ones its much easier than the phone if the video bit is activated.

Its another way of promoting access.

I'm moving further from my ex, sadly not in with anyone, but to be closer to my family for support. Anticipating the threats as well but my solicitor says he wouldn't have any grounds to claim residency.

ANTagony · 16/05/2008 07:22

Forgot to say congratulations and good on you

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