My feed

to access all these features

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

why did he leave and what do i tell my DS?

4 replies

Katiekins83 · 12/05/2008 11:08

ive been dating some one fro just over a year. ive known him for 13 years thought and he has always been there through everything in my life...we were only kids when we met! but it now seems that he has got bored and decided that he will cut all contact with me... i have no clue why. and he wont even answer the phone to tell me that! my son is 18 months and this is the only male/father figure he has ever known! he was only a few months ols when we started dating, and now my ds keep asking where he has gone and i cant explain because i dont know.
i am well aware that i lost some of my personality when i had my son and that i was not the beer drinking diva i once was, but did it take him over a year to realise this.
sorry for the rant but i cant concerntrate on anything as all these questions keep going through my head...which is also no good as i am trying to do my uni exams atm! he couldnt have picked a worse time!
any ideas on how i can get him to answer some of these questions? anyone been through the same thing?

OP posts:
Tinkerbel6 · 12/05/2008 16:51

Your son is only 18 months old so won't really understand if you explain to him that the two of you are no longer together, give it a couple of weeks and he probably wont even remember who he is. Sorry this has happened to you and he certainly picked his timing I think you need and deserve an explanation, I think the worse thing is when they are silent as it drives you crackers, maybe text or email him and ask for an explanation so you can move on

MascaraOHara · 12/05/2008 16:54

I would just say " is gone away" in a sing songy voice (use same voice as when saying good bye to helium balloons lol

your ds won't remember soon enough.

taken4granted · 12/05/2008 18:30

Katie I feel for you sending you a hug. Its not nice and It certainly isnt easy you are fortunate that your ds is so young as as everyone has said he wont remember him in a couple of months at all - and think you get to see all the highlights of his growing up - he doesnt (no rewind button with kids) and the best bit is you can say its all down to you So good luck and keep on here if you feel shitty everyone is really good.

ANTagony · 12/05/2008 18:33

My husband of 11 years, together for 13yrs since we were teens suddenly upped and left informing me he'd fallen in love with someone else and she was the love of his life. I didn't know we had any problems. My younger son was then 18mths old the older 3. Both said Daddy quite a bit at first. If asked I'd keep responses as short factual and unemotional as possible. Daddys living in 'x' now. Daddy loves you but he can't be here now. Younger son then went through a phase of calling everyone Daddy. For kids it would appear what ever there situation is its normal. They really do seam to be able to go with the flow and operate on such a different level of depth to us adults.

As for asking why, so many women I've asked this have responded you've got to get beyond that because you may never get an answer. I'm 9months into singledom now and don't spend quite as much time reflecting, i don't have answers but lots of theories, and I am looking forwards. I've started to read the mumsnet single parents dating forums and wonder whether thats a way to go again.

You sound like someone who is really set to go places with uni exams and an 18month old child you must be a hard worker and have so much opportunity on your doorstep don't forget how much you've achieved to get to this point. It does get easier.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.