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Need advice csa and cohersive behaviour

4 replies

Lavinia5 · 02/03/2025 20:00

Dear all

My son has had to go and live with his dad for the time being due to assaulting me and trashing my house. Dad now wants csa money and for me to transfer child benefit. He has contacted the csa and they are demanding £600 a month. I am refusing to give him that amount . I have three children by him two are older now . Everytime I contacted the csa to get money from their father he forced me not to go through csa by bribing me and cohersive behaviour saying he would only have the kids 1 night a week and that it would cost me more to get a babysitter if I wanted to have a life etc. I run my own business and still do so I needed help with child care . So because of this I didn’t get what I was entitled too he paid what he wanted . I have said to him now I am willing to pay him now for one son what he paid me all this time and he is saying no I want to go through the csa as he know he can get more. I have all the proof of the text of cohersive behaviour backdated years ago and will speak to the csa tomorrow about it . I cannot afford to give him £600 a month and already have had to drop a week of work because of having my grandchild once a week so my daughter does t have such expensive nursery fees . I will have to stop having my grandchild if I have to pay this as I will struggle financially and he has now said you are using your grandchild as a weapon. I am at my wits end what to do . Pleasehelp what you think. I should do and whether I will have a case with the csa tomorrow.

OP posts:
HoneyCorn · 02/03/2025 21:02

If that's the amount they said you need to pay then that's what you need to pay, unfortunately they won't care if he never paid you as it's a separate claim. You must earn a lot to need to pay £600 for one child

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 02/03/2025 21:03

Are you sure it's £600?

Waterlilysunset · 02/03/2025 21:04

If he has your joint child full time then yes you need to give him the child benefit and pay the maintenance money. Imagine if this was a reverse

Purplelady1 · 04/03/2025 15:30

Looks like you’ll have to pay what is due. The CMS will not take any past personal arrangements between the two of you into consideration.

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