Anyone else or just me and my thoughts?
The Waiting Room
No I am not waiting for an appointment.. I am awaiting a time..
A time when my ex steps up for my daughter and gives her the time she craves
A time when I don’t have to worry about damage control when my ex lets my daughter down again
A time when my life begins again..
When I get some time for me without having to ask for help
When I am not just another single Mum
When I get to think about only me because I’ve raised awesome children who need me less and have amazing lives of there own
When I meet someone who will love me for being me
When I am not told I am too much, too sensitive, too anxious, too happy, too positive (if only the knew on the last two!)
When my mortgage is paid and I do not worry that every decision I make will impact on me providing a family home for my children
When despite the hours I give to work it will feel enough.. I will feel enough
When every ache and pain does not send me into a frenzy worrying that I wont be around for my children when they need me the most
When I get to scream I fucking did it.. It wasn’t what I wanted… I didn’t get a choice in a lot of it but I made sacrifices, cried tears my children saw, cried tears I hid and struggled through days when I wanted to no longer walk this earth..but until then I am in my waiting room.. stepping up every day… loving my children, making the most of my life within it’s constraints… but also waiting