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even my mum said "lone parents just have babies to get money"

12 replies

AMAZINWOMAN · 08/05/2008 21:28

I usually ignore what everybody says about lone parents, and just concentrtate on doing my best for my children.

But my mum said "lone parents just have babies to get money", I challenged her on this, and she said , "oh obviously I dont mean you".

But I said that people have looked down on me as I'm a lone parent, and that loads of people read the Daily Mail and believe all the rubbish that is written about lone parents.

Maybe Im being a bit too sensitive, but I was annoyed to hear my own family putting down single parents. I think we all deserve medals, and not have to put up with hearing bad comments

OP posts:
shelleylou · 08/05/2008 21:31

Sorry your mum made that comment. People dont understand how hard it is being a lone parent unless they are. They should be made to eat their words and try it themselves before passing judgement!!

AMAZINWOMAN · 08/05/2008 21:42

If anyone else had said it, I really wouldn't have cared. I know I'm doing a great job in difficult circumstances.

But because my Mum said it, it bothered me.

OP posts:
shelleylou · 08/05/2008 21:44

IKWYM. As its family its closer to home. I think all lone parents do a great job.

Miggsie · 08/05/2008 22:21

why do married people have babies then? What is the difference?
No, I cannot fathom the minds of these people.
I suppose widows and widowers don't count?

LittleBella · 08/05/2008 22:25

I think it's a very interesting comment on the power of the media. People come out with shit the media promotes and then say "oh I don't mean you", whether it be about lone parents, immigrants, muslims, etc. In other words, they discount their own real experience and accept the version of the mass media.

On one level, it's good that people have a wider frame of reference than their own experience. On another, it's extremely depressing that their frame of reference is generally that of a madly reactionary raving right wint press.

LittleBella · 08/05/2008 22:28

right wing obv.

littlewoman · 09/05/2008 00:03

Lone parents have babies for many reasons, mine was an accident, tbh. But generally, it would be a very stupid way of trying to get money. It's hardly the biological version of 'who wants to be a millionaire?' now is it?

littlewoman · 09/05/2008 12:57

Intelligent post, LB. Agree totally.

Anngeree · 09/05/2008 22:42

It really annoys me that all single parents are put in the same bracket. Why can't people understand that not all single parents have chosen to bring up their child/ren alone but circumstances have made them & we do a damn good job (even if I do say so myself). We have people making judgements about us without knowing our circumstances & governments putting us in the impossible situation of choosing whether to provide for your child/ren or be there for them. I can understand how you were annoyed at your family for passing judgement My mum has said the same to me, so no I don't think your being to sensitive. I think more people need to challenge others views on single parents so eventually peoples stereotypical views change.

xxgemmalou22xx · 10/05/2008 11:44

hi this is annoying aint it... the fact is i never choose to be a single mom i just had my babys dad walk out on me wen i was 12 weeks pregnant but your right people do judge and it is unfair and i have not had my baby yet its shocking! i just let it go in one ear and out the other because my life is not nothing to do with them and they dont know the facts in and out so their opinion should just be kept to theirself

singledadofthree · 10/05/2008 12:39

i've heard plenty of people come out with comments like these over the years - and usually women - who then quickly remember that i'm one of them and not by choice. is amusing at times as they try and talk their way back out of it. is mostly people who rarely come into contact with the likes of us and just see us as an unseen group - with a handy label - drawing on the country's resourses.

mogs0 · 11/05/2008 19:56

Family member said exactly the same to me and, while I knew it wasn't a direct attack at me personally, it's really offensive. It was quite amusing to watch said family member squirming with embarrassment when she realised what she'd said!!

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