Guardian Soulmates - Online Dating Help required

[Gizmo100]

Hi I joined the above site 3 weeks ago and would like some advice from any other mumsnetters that use it. I was on Match for about 6 wks at the start of the year and had lots of emails etc from people and meets but with this site it is just about zero - I dont add guys as favourites so maybe they are more shy on this site and maybe I have to do the seeking! Also the highest match I have with someone is 89% nothing higher - is this the norm??? Would appreciate any help with this site - i know its a lot smaller than the larger ones but would be tempted to go back on Match - Im not sure if being a single parent is what they are looking for on the Guardian site????

Many thanks

Gizmo100

i was on there, i found that the people who wanted to date me were all married

they werent particularly upfront about this

i didnt meet anyone from it

i stil msn with a guy off there and have done since about august

otherwise i found if you live outside the m25 then they dont want to know

except for those in first point above

oh actually there were a few others but i didnt fancy them

i did exchange emails with some people tho

i have found on dating sites no one interesting voluntarily contacts me so not sure how normal that is but then i am older

i have a bf from pof which is free

89% is pretty high IMO!

I think it makes quite a difference how old you are - are you over 39? Loads of miserable tossers men on there put 39 as the cut off age.

I think you have to be pretty pro active, make a few favourites, send out messages - don't be coy and expect them to make the first move.

It also makes a massive difference where you are - lots of talent in London, Brighton, Edinburgh etc, bugger all in the sticks.

A fair few put 'no children' as a deal breaker I've noticed.

Hi Thanks for the feedback - Im 35 and live 20 miles from Edinburgh so there a few matches from there usually high 80's but when u look at the success stories they have folk at 100% match and I thought that was the norm!!!! and I had something wrong with me! - its funny my experience of Match was someone looked at u, u looked at them then they winked at you - on Soulmates its a case of hardly anyone looks at me and if they do I look at them and nothing happens!!!!!!! Its really odd considering i have loads of matches between 80% - 89% why dont they email? Maybe I am too old fashioned and I need to do what you suggest turquoise and be proactive - I think maybe these guys are waiting on the women to make the move - Im seeing someone tomorrow from the site so I may find out from him how he finds the site. Might as well gain some insider knowledge!!!!

Hi I am new to this site and have been meaning to join something like this for ages. I have mum friends but they are all attached and it's different being alone. You're never sure whether you're doing the right thing or if there's a better way... There's just no-one to run things by. And it's lonely at night when my son goes to bed.
I am 33 now and have been single all thru my pregnancy, my son is now 6 months old. I worry I might never be pregnant again and worry whether my son will be happy with no siblings (I was one of 4 kids!)
Maybe I worry too much

Anyway, I have just joined ParentsAlready.com (free site) which is supposedly for single parents but there are some blokes on there without kids!?! You can state friendship only or more. Will keep you posted as to if it's full of pervs or marrieds lol

M x

I was on there briefly. Only one guy ever called me. He said he still lived with his wife whilst they were sorting out the divorce. He only ever called at midnight however. DO THEY THINK WE ARE STUPID?

Yeah I have now scrapped the dating sites idea lol
It's all a scam
x

dont wscrap the idea just be a bit judisious

i am seeing a guy off pof and he is nice

My friend has met someone from Guardian Soulmate but its a bit slow on there. I joined suggardaddies.com which had been a waste of money for me. But then that is just me.

I was on Soulmates for a while and didn't have any bad experiences - met a couple of nice men and e-mailed others, but no-one who who really lit my fire.

My problem with it was that I live in a small city and the same faces were just on there forever. Also people from work, parents from DS's school etc were on there and I'd rather not broadcast the fact I'm on a dating site.

I think it's worth trying though.

I met my dh on the Soulmates site. We emailed for a while, met up and that was it! Our first date lasted all weekend - it was great.

And, at the time, I was a single parent with one dd.

A year after we met, he proposed, we got married and now we have a little on the way. Prior to Soulmates I'd tried match and dating direct with no luck.

i think its wsho you meet rather than wehere so just extend ytoiur options

i dont think the guy i azm seeing is a typical pof but then neither am i

I have been on plenty of fish for about a week now and I have been chatting to a quite a few blokes!!!
I have had a few nutcases but I guess you get them on any of them!!
I have added people to my favourites and they have then messaged me!!
My friends know I am on the site and they think its great that I am out fishing!!!
And I have a date next week with one of the guys I have been talking to after I get back from a week away!!!!
Good luck with it!!!

Well I found a free (yes FREE) site...
Soulmates.co.uk
I'll let you know

When you trawl through all the dross on these sites and think you'll never find anyone 'normal' just remind yourself like I do that you are normal and using the site so there must be others out there.

Remember it is hard to find someone at the best of times. When you add in all the wannabe's, married men and people looking for 'friends' only that you have to sift through them online as well now it can seem like looking for a needle in a haystack. And in reality finding a partner can be like that regardless on where you look.

People tend to lie as well, or bend the truth to make themselves sound better. I stick with a completely honest profile about who I am and what I am looking for, which might be why i get less interest! But I'm looking for a partner not a quick f* so better to be honest right?

We can't be the only normal people out there really, can we...

Keep looking, good things come to those who wait!

Gilly

I have just met the most wonderful man through Dating Direct. We emailed for ages before we met and then clicked instantly. It's early days but I can see it getting serious. I've been on other sites too, including Soulmates and PoF and my advice would be just to keep at it, even when you think it's never going to work.

Everyone does online dating these days, even babies in their 20s and people saying it's only for losers or scammers is just laughable, they have no idea. I know several people who've met good 'uns this way, so good luck to you. And make sure you've got a profile that stands out and great pictures with you smiling - even though I'm 50, I got lots of responses because people were attracted by my smile (and that includes the eyes).

I'm on guardian soulmates, not paid up tho, just testing the water! There are not many fish in my area, so it seems a bit of a dead loss - i can't afford £25 to send a few messages out! I was on Dating Direct for 1 month, met one lovely man through it - no romance yet but meeting him again next week - hoping things will develop as i really like him! Bad thing is he lives about 5/6 hours away - doh!

They are all so expensive tho and am single mum so can't afford
x

There's also Loopylove (my sis met her lovely man through that one) - they do a 3 day membership for £4.99. You could put a profile on first, check out if there are any decent men in your area, sign up for 3 days and have a messaging blitz!