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To take a trip without DC?

2 replies

RoeDeer86 · 10/02/2025 10:17

Morning all

I’ve always dreamt of going to New York and this year my mum said she’d look after DC if I wanted to take a trip. DC is 5 and I’m a single parent (though dad sees him once a month), I do all the caring with the help of my mum and wraparound care when I am work. I work 30 hours a week. My dad offered to come with me and as he’s got advanced cancer, it’s an opportunity to spend some time together as well. The trip is all booked and paid for, but now I’m having severe mum guilt! I’ve never left DC for more than a night or two when he’s stopped at my mum’s house. I don’t go out socially other than to meet friends and DC comes with me. Other than when he’s at school or I’m at work, we’re always together. He’ll be staying in our house with my mum looking after him as it’s the school holidays. I know he’ll be absolutely fine and have a wonderful time with all the activities my mum has planned for him. She’s honestly the best mum you could ask for.

I’ve taken DC abroad a few times and had some lovely beach holidays. We go away every year and even though funds can be tight, I save up and take him away because I think holidays and breaks are so important.

I know New York wouldn’t suit a 5 year old and a big city certainly wouldn’t suit him as he likes nature and the sea and I think it would overwhelm him. However, as the trip draws closer, I just feel really selfish leaving him behind. Am I a bad mum for going away without him? In a way I think it’ll be good for him to be without me for a few days and have a bit of healthy separation but I’ve spoken to other parents (albeit in two-parent households) and they’ve never left their kids for more than a night or two.

Thank you for reading ❤️

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Darby3785 · 10/02/2025 12:35

Hi OP
This trip sounds wonderful! You will get a break and get to make some memories with your Dad. Sometimes in life we have to grab these opportunities when they come our way! Your parents sound wonderul!
You are in no way a bad mum. It's quite clear from your post how much you adore your DC and you have made sure he's safe and looked after before leaving him!
I left my DS with my parents a few times whilst me and DH went away for more than 2 nights so if you're a bad Mum i am too! The break will do you good, and it is good for you both to have some time apart!

It's natural to have some mum guilt, I still get that now as big as my DS is (he's 20!)
Your DC will be absolutely fine. Sounds like he will be in good hands with your Mum and I bet she will absolutely relish in having him!

Hope you and your Dad have the best time!!

PanicPanicc · 10/02/2025 21:24

I went for one week to Paris with my mom when DD was 4. I cried a lot before going and almost flaked but I’m glad I did.

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