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Lone parents

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Original poster

Has anyone closed child maintenance claim?

14 replies

Noeey · 01/02/2025 13:11

Has anyone cancelled child maintenance and just decided to not bother? I'm with cm but don't get any payments for the children haven't in 2 years. There's nothing that can be done and although the arrears are going up slowly £800 in just over 2 years. I know I will never see them. At this point I feel like the only reason I'm keeping it open is to be told he has had another child and will be paying even less which I'm not sure I would want to know given that he doesn't see our children I'd rather not know he has gone on to father more. But part of me feels like he should be held accountable though he obviously isn't as he must be laughing at the fact he doesn't need to pay. So has anyone cancelled and did you feel better for it? I'm raising them alone anyway.

OP posts:
Gingerkittykat · 01/02/2025 13:23

How much is he meant to pay if the arrears are only £800 in two years?

Is he on benefits so only has to pay a few £ a week?

Original poster
Noeey · 01/02/2025 13:26

Yes £6.72 a week.

OP posts:
Gingerkittykat · 02/02/2025 01:08

Is he on collect and pay? If so they might get around to collecting the arrears one day so I would just leave it open and expect nothing and it will be a nice surprise if they collect anything.

My ex was in and out of work so they collected sporadically, including some arrears.

If they are deducting from benefits child maintenance is something like 14th in the list of priorities. If he owes anything to the DWP they can't collect CMS. He could keep getting loans so he never has to pay.

Guest100 · 02/02/2025 01:11

I would just leave it to keep adding up. You never know if something will change and he will have to pay it.

Original poster
Noeey · 02/02/2025 01:20

The reasons why I don't want to leave it open as explained is I'd rather not hear if he's fathered again when he doesn't bother with ours, seems the only reason it's open tbh as will never see the money and all it shows him is that he can get away with it. I will never see the arrears. Yes he is collect and pay but they don't send any payments. Just wondering if anyone has actually closed their claim and let it go?

OP posts:
poorbuthappy1 · 02/02/2025 02:25

Don't close it! Even if he's not paying now he will be forced to in the end. I know men having it taken out of their pensions for kids who are now 30

Original poster
Noeey · 02/02/2025 02:26

Sorry but how? He is on benefits and owes debts legally that means they don't have to pay the law is on there side with that one and allows them to not pay then when he has other kids it will go down to £3 odd so will be even less. Surprised he hasn't had any more yet tbh.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 02/02/2025 02:28

Don't close it this is money for your child plus it will piss him off not being ever able to get a real job because they will be on it currently that £800 can go for a decent laptop for university? Some parents wrongly assume they if they start working when their child turns 18 it's wiped out it really isn't

RamsestheDamned · 02/02/2025 02:35

I was contacted by CMS a few years ago saying they were going to write off his arrears to the tune of nearly £3000. I refused. They upheld it and took it to court for the arrears and further arrears also. Two legal marks against his name. I keep it open because even though it's only £29 odd per month, I can put that into savings. If he racks up more arrears then they can put it through court for a third mark. You do not let men get away with this. The tiny amount you get can be saved and serves as his constant reminder that it'll be deducted. I’m more than aware that he's probably had another kid since he disappeared years ago. The knowledge of that wouldn't affect me. He already gave DD a half sister before he disappeared and the mum won't let her have any contact, now that is and has been very damaging for DD. But if it's just you not wanting to know for yourself, maybe think that there's a bigger picture...

Original poster
Noeey · 02/02/2025 02:43

RamsestheDamned · 02/02/2025 02:35

I was contacted by CMS a few years ago saying they were going to write off his arrears to the tune of nearly £3000. I refused. They upheld it and took it to court for the arrears and further arrears also. Two legal marks against his name. I keep it open because even though it's only £29 odd per month, I can put that into savings. If he racks up more arrears then they can put it through court for a third mark. You do not let men get away with this. The tiny amount you get can be saved and serves as his constant reminder that it'll be deducted. I’m more than aware that he's probably had another kid since he disappeared years ago. The knowledge of that wouldn't affect me. He already gave DD a half sister before he disappeared and the mum won't let her have any contact, now that is and has been very damaging for DD. But if it's just you not wanting to know for yourself, maybe think that there's a bigger picture...

I don't want to know because he doesn't bother with our children it would piss me off to know he has gone on to father more maybe wrong but yes it would.

OP posts:
Original poster
Noeey · 02/02/2025 02:43

Theunamedcat · 02/02/2025 02:28

Don't close it this is money for your child plus it will piss him off not being ever able to get a real job because they will be on it currently that £800 can go for a decent laptop for university? Some parents wrongly assume they if they start working when their child turns 18 it's wiped out it really isn't

Unfortunately it's children not child.

OP posts:
Ladyj84 · 02/02/2025 03:58

Yes he has 1 child and managed to convince child maintenance that he could only afford 46p a week...how I will never know as he works at the same full time job he had 15 years ago, shows lack of care and love tbh. After a year of back and forth letters I got to the point I don't want it and here I am 15 years later a handsome teenager and brought up all on my own 🙂 dad never been in the picture apart from the first 3 weeks of his life

Original poster
Noeey · 02/02/2025 10:46

Ladyj84 · 02/02/2025 03:58

Yes he has 1 child and managed to convince child maintenance that he could only afford 46p a week...how I will never know as he works at the same full time job he had 15 years ago, shows lack of care and love tbh. After a year of back and forth letters I got to the point I don't want it and here I am 15 years later a handsome teenager and brought up all on my own 🙂 dad never been in the picture apart from the first 3 weeks of his life

46p a week?! And the joke is people think you should still claim it "out of principle" like it's actually hurting the NRP to pay that amount, they are laughing at it. That's how I feel I would rather be proud I did it alone than claim a couple of pennies.

OP posts:
Purplelady1 · 03/02/2025 20:29

Always leave the claim open - as PP mentioned, the arrears might be paid way later in the future and it also serves as evidence that the man never paid child support.

However, if your need to not know if he has anymore kids is affecting you badly, then close it for peace of mind.

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