Holidays with a toddler solo

[Newlysinglemum1]

Hi all,

This is maybe a silly question but is anyone else really daunted by the idea of taking your child away on holiday as a lone parent?

I feel pretty capable on the whole and we do lots of day trips but ds is 2 and the idea of taking him abroad on holiday makes me feel really anxious about what could go wrong and having to navigate that on my own if he took sick or even worse if I got sick and was unable to care for him. How did people get over this fear and how old were your children before you felt confident taking them away? I don't want ds to miss out on experiences his friends are having just because I'm scared.

My other issue is do I need my stbxhs permission to take ds on a holiday? He's a significant risk to ds due to offences he's committed against other children so I don't particularly want him knowing where ds is at any given time but he's not been convicted yet so at the moment still has parental responsibility? I don't even know if that would still remain in place if he is convicted - I'd imagine so? Anyone know how this works?

I don't think it will be much of a holiday. (Meaning that toddlers aren't great at not needing to be watched all the time!) I would wait till he is older or make a plan to go with friends. He won't remember not going abroad. He will remember doing fun stuff with his mum. Maybe a UK beach for a couple of days would be a good compromise? He still gets the sand and sea but you are nearer home.

You'd be totally fine going away with your child - you manage at home. Try to pick somewhere family/child friendly and make sure you have appropriate insurance. There will be kids clubs etc that way if you need a rest for whatever reason, doctors within easy reach etc..

So far as the ex goes, technically yes, you do need his written consent to leave the country unless you have a court order stating otherwise (assuming you were married and/or he is on the birth certificate and therefore has PR). However, I have never been stopped taking my kids away without this consent.

I'd also point out that even if you do divorce and he gets convicted of whatever he charges he faces, it is unlikely that his PR will be removed. My ex was convicted, yet retains PR. It is next to impossible to have this removed. However, in practice it hasn't caused me any issues (yet).

At this age I would maybe try something like the Haven or Parkdean caravan sites, they've got loads of great things for kids going on and will give you more confidence for going away if you've done some longer breaks in the UK. They're also not horrendous for adults, even though it's not my idea of a holiday....mine would chose a caravan over Universal Studios in Orlando!

I've found it's easier going away with people or to visit people rather than a solo holiday with my little one, mainly because it's nice for me to have a bit company. I feel otherwise it's still just parenting somewhere else.

She's 6 now and we do go away by ourselves fairly frequently now but she's much more company and it's not so much 7pm i'm stuck in a hotel room with a sleeping child.

For the other parents permission, if he's on the birth certificate then he'll have PR and you should have a signed letter from them to say that your child can leave the country. Mine does not have her father on the birth certificate so I just take a copy of that with me to show that I am the only with responsibility. I have only been asked for this once though, weirdly in The Netherlands, not in the US which i thought might be all over it!

Can you take another adult (eg grandparent) to give you some time off?

I didn't do a foreign holiday until mine was 8yo. Really enjoyed it after waiting so long!! Before that we did some nice caravan breaks and a couple of nights at uk hotels (scarborough, york) - but at toddler age I went with grandparents. Even couples with toddlers have commented that it's not really a holiday when they are so little. I couldn't have managed alone at that age.

In terms of ex permission, I didn't bother asking or mentioning our trip. He's rarely in contact so didn't need to know. I took the birth certificate so I could show I was the mother but was never asked.

I did loads with mine OP. Sometimes to visit friends overseas but sometimes just me and him camping, package holiday, we even went back packing for 3 weeks when he was just 4. It made me feel great and free and we both generally really enjoyed it. No one will ask about his dad, no one asked me and mums travel with children alone all the time. Unless a particular order or something. Go for it and good luck!

I took 4yo and 2yo for a week all inclusive in canaries at October half term and it was great. We stayed at a ‘splash hotel’.

They both loved it. I was knackered at points but have great memories.

Buffet with toddler was a total nightmare… was running up to dessert table and refusing dinner but this was pretty much the only stressful part.

If you fancy it, go for it!

I took my dds on holiday overseas at that age but they enjoyed Butlin’s just as much. Save money and go somewhere closer to home

I went to Morocco with my DD when she was less than 2 years old and it was great. I also took lots of pics which she’ll look back on when older and see all the fun she had.

I have taken my son away alone from he was 10 months. The anxiety comes and goes . The trips are sometimes hard but hard work in the sun with a pram and a promenade to walk. Now the scooter takes priority and I pack around it now he's 8. We have been to Mallorca alot, it's easy. Cyprus. Bali Australia too.
I got a Residencey Order that states I can travel for upto one month without needing permission. Perhaps start this process soon
...

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. We've a staycation glamping trip planned as I figured that would make ease me in and if it's a total bust then I can still come home no big deal. Hoping it'll go well and give me more confidence to go further or for longer!

Can I also ask, for those of you who have taken your kids abroad what exactly did you need from your ex in terms of permission to leave the country?

I've asked my solicitor about a residency order but they've said they wouldn't recommend it at the moment as my ex hasn't pursued contact so it might not be seen as necessary by the courts.

I stuck to this country until my ds was five.
for me he needed to be old enough to follow instructions and give me little bits of help EG hold his own bag for a bit.

i chose carefully a resort with loads to do for kids and a good kids club too.
it was fine but I weirdly find holidays as a single parent lonelier than holidays completely alone.

Well done. Sounds great. I never needed anything in terms of agreement by ex. I’m not sure what circumstamces trigger it

I hope it goes well, the staycation sounds like a good idea to see how you get on.

regarding permission, my DC dad and I have always travelled with a letter of permission from the other parent but I don’t think it has been looked at once.

on one occasion DC got separated from the adults, taken to one side and asked if I was his mum…he said yes fortunately!!