Men who are obsessed with their exes, but couldn’t care less about their children

[SickOfMen]

I’m becoming increasingly worried about my daughter’s ex-boyfriend. She was with him only for a couple of months when she fell pregnant and to be honest I think he was a rebound anyway. After having her son, he’s proved many times he is a pathetic manchild, every penny he spends on his son is begrudged and all he talks about is playing FIFA with his mates and going and playing football with them. Obviously, the relationship didn’t last long and she’s now split up with him, but he is clearly obsessed with her. This is not love, this is just pure obsession. He is insanely jealous and when she was six months pregnant, he was convinced she was having sex with someone else, because she didn’t answer the phone to him immediately, and smashed up her flat. That gives you a clue of what he’s like.
He now literally comes to see his son but it’s quite obvious he’s only there to see her. My other daughter was in a very similar relationship and I became extremely concerned at the fact that this man was so obsessed with her and seemed to care very little about my granddaughter, but pretended he did to get access to the mother. This has got to be some kind of recognised narcissistic behaviour but I can’t find anything about it. I’ve seen untold amount of stories of men murdering or harming their children to spite the women that they’re obsessed with, this is not an unknown phenomenon and I don’t know why there’s not more about it Online.
Has anyone heard what this scenario or syndrome could be called?
When I look up, “my boyfriend got me pregnant just to keep me” all it seems to talk about is women doing that to men, and I can tell you that men do that too because I have two daughters that have experienced it!
Has anyone else had that out there had an experience like this? I can see red flags flying everywhere and it’s really worrying.

And when you wrote that, did you think it was gonna be helpful to my concerns? What a pointless comment.

She needs to take this as a life lesson and learn from it. Life's best lessons are the hardest, after all.

Establish boundaries with the ex and stick to them. Don't engage in chit chat; stay focused on the child always.

Remind her that this is temporary. One day, she won't have to be there when her ex sees the son.

Have you considered a contact centre?

My own situation is/was very different, but similar. Basically no real interest in the children, just sew them to get to me.
Yes there was concern he would do something dreadful to the children (his own sister told me she feared it)
Your daughter needs to realise this is what's happening first.
Maybe a contact centre would be good, but not her own home, this is a deffo no no.
I suspect he will protect and then disappear from all their lives. But maybe just maybe he won't, maybe he will step up for the child.
But be aware it becomes a lot worse before better, the most dangerous time is when your trying to cut ties.

I’m hoping this is something that can come about eventually, he comes to her house to see his son, which I don’t think is okay, and his last visit she said she needed to pop out and could he just stay with their son and he started ranting that he had other things to do! He was there to see his son!
Quite clearly, he wasn’t there to see his son quite clearly he’d come there to spend time with my daughter. I think she’s starting to see it now.

My ex used to be like this, he'd ask me to bring our son round to "see him" and then hed get closer and closer to me on the sofa untill we sat next to me, then he'd look at me with puppy dog eyes and say the old "I just want us to be a family again"

I've heard the expression "baby trapping" - I don't know if that search term would help you get what you need.

Could you get a Claire's Law search done on both men?

Can your daughters report these men to the police so there starts a paper trail of what they are doing?

Have they spoken to Women's Aid for help?

Beyond all of this, what was their experience like of relationships growing up? For both to end up in this type of relationship is a concern and suggests they weren't equipped to spot Red flags. Both need therapy to help them avoid falling into this type of relationship again!

A search of men baby trapping women found this:

medium.com/@divinepie76/men-baby-trap-women-more-often-than-you-think-67976c94ab0e