Ex telling DD she can't talk to me on the phone

[ISolemnlySwearIAmUpToNoGood]

Ex has given DD9 a phone. She's asked to FaceTime me while at his this evening and while on the phone to me, he's asked her what she's doing, she's told him and he's told her no and she's gotten upset and said she has to go. He has form for putting his feelings first instead of hers. Just wondering if anyone has experience with this and if anything can be done? I hate that she's being put in a position where she's upset because he can't think about what's best for her

Yes while at my ex husbands the kids would call me, he would then take the phone off them and put it down.
Even though it was court ordered that i could speak to the children mid week when they went for extended contect. I ended up not even attempting to speak to them as I know it pit them in a difficult position.

I just can't understand how they can stand to upset their own children like that

She's 9. A bloody phone? Free childcare for him I imagine.. I hope it goes away in a drawer when she gets back to you op. In his defense it's very bloody intrusive using a phone to home from another parent's home ime...

It doesn't come over here. If he'd asked my opinion I would have said she's too young and doesn't need one until secondary school. I never initiate the phone contact while she's there, it's always her messaging first and asking to FaceTime etc

On the one hand, its giving your DD the comfort in the knowledge that she can contact him at any time, however, when DD is with her dad, who must have been deemed capable of taking care of her or she wouldn't be there, I can understand when he then gets antsy that she's on the phone to you.

Perhaps you need to draw up an agreement with DD and your EX over when she can and cannot use the phone? When she asks to facetime you, you need to be strong and firm and say no, you're with your dad. Love you and seen you soon

I honestly wouldn't mind. If she wants to talk to him then she wants to talk to him. I can't see how it does her any good to tell her she can't talk to one parent when she wants to because the other one won't like it