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Original poster

Ex being passive aggressive with our teen

4 replies

Elizo · 12/01/2025 23:50

So DS’ dad and I split up when he was a baby. Ex’ choice. We have co-parented generally amicably and he lives locally - DS now 15 goes over there couple of times a week. With his GCSEs coming up/ friends/ sports he is going there less, although still couple of times a week. Ex has virtually zero social life/ contact, retired early and although he is a v good dad he is cross DS nor going more but rather than talking about it he is guilting DS snd making comments which DS is telling me make him uncomfortable. DS went away with him 4 days at Xmas and all of half term. Ex is suggesting not worth going if DS will study, well he has to study with exams in a few months. All this said, I know ex just misses him. Am also minded if DS gets in a relationship / job we could both see way less of him and we have to support him whatever. Worried ex is upsetting DS but DS wants to me to stay out of it and I don’t want to be in firing line. Ex incapable of discussing issues only getting moody/ passive aggressive. Any advice please?? Similar experiences?

OP posts:
Rocksaltrita · 13/01/2025 07:52

Another man who can’t put the needs of his child first. Marvellous.

Theunamedcat · 13/01/2025 07:54

Ds wants you to stay out of it unfortunately you can only give support

Porkyporkchop · 13/01/2025 07:55

I think you need to calmly explain to your son that these exams will carve out his future , when his father has already has his life and made his decisions and choices. This is now a time for ds to step up and use his voice - with a father like that he will need to learn how to use it, or he will get guilted all throughout his life just for trying to achieve a life of his own.

Maray1967 · 31/05/2025 08:27

Porkyporkchop · 13/01/2025 07:55

I think you need to calmly explain to your son that these exams will carve out his future , when his father has already has his life and made his decisions and choices. This is now a time for ds to step up and use his voice - with a father like that he will need to learn how to use it, or he will get guilted all throughout his life just for trying to achieve a life of his own.

Spot on. OP, this is exactly what you need to say to your DS.

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