Additional help with childcare

[Bananasandcustard28]

Hi all,
Just a bit of background - I am recently widowed (5 months ago). I am still signed off from work but will be returning in April / May and I have two kids - 7 and 11. I also have very little practical real life support.

The kids are currently in after school club two days a week but no other childcare other than occasional weekend stays with my parents.

I am absolutely broken (obviously from grieving but also from the stress and exhaustion that comes with being a single parent with almost no respite). I’ve decided to employ a nanny to collect the kids from school two days a week, make them dinner, do homework and other activities with them, and am now consumed with guilt about this decision, as the children are very reluctant to go ahead with this. We are all due to meet the nanny tomorrow for a ‘get to know you’ session before we go ahead with employing her.

For context - the kids are completely understandably clingy to me. They happily go to school and with my parents and best friend, but are currently unsure about new people.

It would be great to hear other people’s thoughts on this, but please be kind.

Thank you

I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, that will be good for everyone. Your children may be clingy now but a good nanny will be fun to be around and hopefully your children will bond with her.

I'm a single/lone parent - have been from the beginning and I'm a firm believer that if an hour or two of additional childcare - that my DS enjoys - is well worth it for a sane parent. Think of it as an investment that allows you to be less stressed and more engaged with your kids the rest of the time.

I'm so sorry for you loss but wow you have got it together woman!

Be proud of yourself for starters.

Personally it sounds like you have made a great decision. See what the nanny is like if you don't gel or the kids don't then I'm sure you will take the time to find someone else.

You are doing the right thing. You need to work and your children need picking up. There's really not another option.

Rightly so your kids are clingy too you. Is there a way that you would be able to FaceTime them for a minute or so once the nanny has picked them up just to reassure them that's everything is ok?

Are there any clubs not associated with school that you could afford and the kids would like that the nanny could take them straight to as a distraction?

Firstly I'm so sorry to hear about the difficult time you are all facing. If you can comfortably afford it for a few years, I think your plan of a nanny is a good one.
Is your employer allowing you some flexibility too? Your eldest will be able to get themselves to and from school soon, but would probably still benefit from someone being there at home. Can you wfh sometimes?

I also the think idea of activities or clubs as PP suggested would be a good idea too.

So sorry for your loss, I think having someone new will be good for you all, might need time adjusting, cannot imagine what you are all going through.

Thanks so much, everyone - I feel calmer about the plan after reading through these replies. I’ll also look into activities / clubs for the girls to be taken to by the nanny on the afternoons she has them - good idea.

Someone asked about my employer - yes, they are supportive and flexible and I should be able to WFH four days a week when I go back

You sound like a wonderful and resourceful mum. Your husband would be so proud of you.
So sorry for your loss.