Do I continue to pay DS’s hobby

[tiredmummy98]

Hi, just looking for advice really, I have two children my oldest son has been living with his father for a year now and i see him regularly. My youngest son lives with me full time.

my older sons money from the government such as child benefit, etc has been handed over to his father as he has him more than I do. I also do all the pick ups and drop offs when I do have him.
I’m currently not working as I have a toddler to care for but I am planning on going back to work sometime this year as I am really struggling to be at home financially full time.

My oldest son also attends scouts which is not on a day that I have him, and it costs £50 every 6 weeks to attend which I have been paying for since he has started the last couple of years.
I feel like financially right now I am unable to pay for it as I’m currently not working and only just managing to get by with the money I do receive.

His father and I do not really get along, and I don’t know if I should just approach him and explain to him or if I should just continue to pay it as I normally have even though I’m struggling…?

just realised I’ve posted on the wrong forum lol. Apologies for that!

You could suggest going halves?

was also going to suggest that costs like these be halved between you.

I think you have to look at this if the roles were reversed ....if a child lived with their mum and their dad had always paid for a hobby ...and the dad had made certain life choices which meant they were no longer working and didn't want to pay for the hobby anymore......

Another vote for going halves. It’s both your child.

I’m also divorced, I think the person who gets the child benefit pays the hobbies. My ex wanted child benefit for 1dc. We are roughly 50/50 so that is fine but I did ask that he took over subs for various clubs as that’s what I spent the money on.

Difficult. If you don’t have the money then you just don’t have it. If you were still together it wouldn’t be any different- not everything that you want or would be nice is also financially possible.

in your situation I would advise the dad and tell him. If you have two kids and each of you has one and pays for one then I would see that as a fair split.

His dad should pay at least half of this, if not all, as he gets the child benefit.

But if he can't or won't, then contact your scout group. Most will help in cases where parents are struggling to pay - either reduce or waive the fees. To be honest, I think £50 is quite a lot to pay for 6 weeks of scouts anyway - our group charges £30 per term, so less than £3 per week, although some optional activities such as camp are extra. So there may be some leeway with the fees.

Do you not pay your ex maintenance for your son?