how can i explain to him

[Tiired]

i'm really struggling with my 10 year old. his behaviour is very challenging. He is constantly winding up his sister, this is every day to the point she is screaming and crying every day. I discipline him but it doesn't change. this is not through lack of attention (it's been mentioned to me he may be doing it for attention) he isn't, he gets attention without her, he helps me cook, bake, build things, we play board games just us, i even play roblox occasionally with him. so not to do with not getting attention, he just doesn't get me to himself but none of them do that's one of the downsides of being a lone parent. The teasing and winding her up is becoming too much for me. like yesterday i was trying to clean and all he was doing in the other room was teasing her so every 5 minutes i had to stop what i was doing to tell him to stop. this was causing me unnecessary stress, and sometimes i end up shouting because he doesn't listen when told repeatedly not to do it. how do i explain to him that he is making my life harder and more difficult? i am a lone parent so i don't get time away from him like other mums do with their kids so maybe they can cope with it more because there are breaks to look forward to but i am with him every day other than when he is at school so it's constant stress every day. How do i get him to understand that he is causing me stress every day? and that i am parenting him alone and he needs to stop trying to make my life harder? my other kids are fine when he is not around there is zero arguments or fighting

i basically want him to understand how hard it is being a lone parent, he wouldn't act like this around his father he is as good as gold around him that he said i "had it easy" yet that's because he doesn't display this behaviour around him and we are no longer in contact with him. i know "safe space" and all that but i was brought up that kids should behave best for their parents and its others they play up for

Have you asked him why he does it? What’s his reply?

I don’t think you can realistically make a 10 year old understand just how much effort goes into solo parenting. That will just sound like guilt tripping.

I’d try to reach out to his school to see if they have some sort of counselling to help you with him. But for what it’s worth, some kids are more needy than others. My DD had my undivided attention for 10 years and it was never enough. She’d combust if she had a sibling.

thanks, i'd prefer not to involve his school as don't have the greatest relationship with them! bit too late for no sibling he has 3. i'm just so fed up of the constant arguing obviously when there are two parents you can split them up etc or if the other parent is involved you get breaks asked him why he does it but he denies doing it so sadly that's no help

I’m not sure if you can involve CAHMS without going through the school, maybe it’s worth contacting them directly. 3 siblings is probably a lot for him to “compete” with for attention.

For your own sake I’d stop comparing all the time to what it would be like with two parents, you’re just going to bring yourself down even more.

I don’t know how old your other children are but if possible at all maybe he needs a litttle
bit more one-on-one time than the rest.