my parents have both died and i've been chucked. 1 week of autopiloting happiness.

[Overthinker89]

Hi all, i have a lovely 2 year old. I enjoy being his Mamma and we have a good life together. Last week my Dad died. I'd been seeing someone the last 3 or 4 months on the nights my son is at his dad's a few times a week. They seemed very together, emotionally intelligent and we had been moving in the direction of a relationship, albeit early days and i didn't want to rush into anything. Thr week my Dad died this guy did the slow fade before ignoring me altogether, my Mum passed away a few years back. I have one brother who is 12 years older than me and lives quite far away. I'm 35. I feel really incredibly sad. I'm mourning my Dad, I miss my Mum, Christmas is fast approaching, there is a funeral to plan, no other family (grandparents, aunts, rtc around.) and this guy has basically chucked me after months of him being a source of joy, fun and friendship. Feeling very sad. I know i just need to focus on my little one and crack on (i have therapy from a charity once a weem with a psychotherapist) so will try to process some of it during those sessions but man, it's tough atm. Anyone got any tips about coming back from overwhelming grief and hearbreak (i know it was early days but it's been a really raw few weeks) Obviously being strong and prioritising my little one but in the evenings i feel so sad and wuite lonely in this grief x

I’m sorry for your loss OP. Can your brother come and stay and help with the funeral planning, and you can support each other at least. Don’t put everything on your shoulders.

Are you always so dismissive of others perfectly valid feelings?

One thing I’d say is don’t push yourself too hard to create a lovely Christmas for your 2 year old despite your grief. They’re too young to be expecting and comparing - at that age they live in the moment and a treat is a treat whether it’s at Christmas, in early January or in March. Just do what feels manageable and look after yourself.

I’m so sorry - it doesn’t help you much now but he wouldn’t have been a keeper.
Focus on yourself and the here and now with your 2 year old - there will be times of joy although you’re grieving.

Grief is hard and the only way is through it.

One thing that helped a friend in a similar situation was going to toddler classes and making mum friends.

Sorry for your loss . With my parents it was the other way around, Dad went first and a good few years later Mum , like your dad around this time of year which is hard because it does dampen the joy of this time of year but you try to keep it up for the same of your kids.
Try to look upon this man dumping you as just one of those things that can happen .
The reason why it seems so devastating is because you are in the grip of bereavement for your father and another loss to contend with .
It sounds like he didn't want to stick around whilst you are grieving and not your usual happy self . Look upon that as a sign he wasn't worthy of you , and not the person who you thought he was as it shows him up for the shallow scum he is .
Give yourself plenty of time to heal , be kind to yourself , honestly , life in the next few months emotionally are not going to be great but you will pull through it .
Take care .

I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time. There’s probably a lot going on where you live for children at the moment, which could be a helpful distraction for you. Lighten your load for an hour or so.

Will your brother help you with the funeral arrangements? It will help you both if you can share the load.

As for your boyfriend, the slow fade / ghosting was cowardly but ending it now, if he isn’t keen and saw it as a short term thing, was the best thing to do. Had he stuck around to be supportive you would almost certainly have bonded more than you would had you not been bereaved. Who wouldn’t grow strong feelings for someone who had looked out for them through their grief? Then when he did end it because he’d always seen it as short term, you would have felt even worse about the break up than you do now.

I hope you get the support you need from people who care for you enough to give it willingly for as long as you need it. Or there’s always us.

Wishing you and your DC the best Christmas possible