undateable

[AMessAMess]

I don't know if anyone can relate to this but how do you get over feeling 'undateable' as a single parent? like genuinely feel like no one will want me now. My family and ex have told me the same. it's one of the reasons why i haven't bothered to date or look for anyone as i feel like no one would want. doesn't help that i keep seeing constant memes making fun of single mums.

Hi , you aren’t undateable , I met my partner of 20 years, when dd1 was 4 , so it can and does happen.

Of course you aren't 'undateable'. They are just trying to pressure you back into an unhappy relationship.

Build up your network of friends, find another local single mum or two to swap babysitting with, and then enjoy yourself going out to meet new people.

Ignore your nasty ignorant bullying ex and anyone else who tries to take the polish off being a single mum. They are not your friends. Have fun 🤗

When I became a single parent I chose to stay single but I never had any issues or lack of interest from men, it was purely a choice. There’s way too much fear mongering online.

My main advice would be to not consume any content about single mums, unless it’s positive/relevant to you. One time I looked up “single mother” and “single father” on YouTube and just left feeling bad about myself.

Also (perhaps… controversial at times) don’t make it your whole personality. You’re still your own person with your own interests besides being a parent.

You'll just have a different dating pool. There are plenty of men out there with children who won't be put off.

Do you know what you want from a relationship? I think that helps because you go into it looking at if they can offer you what you want, instead of drifting into any old situation with whoever will have you. To take two extremes, someone looking for a casual girlfriend isn't going to be interested in hanging out with your DC and there's no need for DC to be getting attached to someone who might be gone at any time, whereas someone looking for a full-scale relationship including living together isn't going to be ok with your DC yelling "I'm not listening to you you're not my dad!" every time there's a disagreement. So I think it changes the way you approach the situation both with prospective partners and your DC, depending on what you want from a relationship. You're not undateable though. Just mind out for all the undateable men who are dating anyway!

i would like a relationship. i'm aware i could find men to sleep with for casual sex but that's what my family said men would only want me for sex. i'm more of a relationship person.

i've been single years and have had absolutely no interest at all.

Your family sound horrible OP.

i don't think they are as they hate my ex 🫣

Do you work? Where do you socialise? You need to vet the kind of men that approach you.

I wouldn’t listen to your family, they’re obviously prejudiced against single parents. I’m also not a casual/ONS person, that’s just something you need to keep in mind when dating - let them know upfront.

Maybe they aren't trying to drive you back to a bad relationship, but any decent person would support and encourage you, not tell you you are undateable.

They are bigoted and regressive at best. Ignore them and enjoy your new found freedom.

Yes I work from home though so that’s not an option meeting someone through work. I don’t socialise really I have the kids with me full time as don’t see their father so if I was to date I would have to arrange sitters (paid) and use OLD..

My relationship wasn’t bad he wasn’t abusive or anything like that. They just seem to think that because I have 3 kids men don’t want to date someone with that many they said one is ok but “no man wants to date someone with 3 kids”

Some people don’t want to date people with children so the pool may be smaller but some people are fine with it.

Yeah, I used to feel like this BIG TIME as a single parent with 5 children (never thought any man would want me ever again). I was encouraged to get on the dating site and I really didn't have any problems getting a partner.

That said, it was a longish time ago when OLD wasn't like wading through a cesspit - I think your main problem now will be finding a decent man rather than the fact you're a single parent.

Good luck x