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Co parenting, drugs and alcohol and abuse

1 reply

Rach98 · 02/12/2024 21:42

Drugs and alcohol- abusive marriage.

So recently iv found out my husband has been taking cocaine for a year (that I no about) we do not live together as a year ago ish we came to the agreement he shouldn't live with me and 4 children, one of which is his..our baby/toddler is a year and half now, due to his behaviour and how he was treating us all.
Over the last year he's been incredibly nasty to us all, aggressive with how he talks, blaming us all for his behaviour (mainly me but has blamed the children), highly manipulative not just with me as he proceeds to manipulate others when he cant with me to make me look bad, gaslights me, guilt trips me, made me think I'm actually going crazy meaning psychosis which i even went to get assesed for and they turned round saying it was due to things at home and not psychosis at all, broken things in the house due to him not being able to control himself.

Now iv found out he's drinking heavy ish, taking cocaine, going to parties, taking this stuff anywhere he can. He hadn't admitted to doing it in the house while we have been here ( he was coming over to my house to see our child for short visits 2 days a week) but I have extremely strong suspicions he 100% has and on more than 1 occasion, several times.

Obviously I'm a mess right now, with all of this, I don't want anything more to do with him, but obviously we have a child between us. Now how would u go about contact? Or wouldn't u? What steps would u take with him? Would u help him? Would u leave him to it for him to get worse? My heads a huge mess.

OP posts:
ConfusedNoMore · 02/12/2024 22:12

I'm sorry you're going through this.

You must safeguard your children first and foremost. I would facilitate video calls or allow supervised contact if there's a family member you can trust perhaps but that's a fair amount of trust you need.

I expect you don't have a legal agreement?

I'd keep a diary of stuff happening and write down everything you remember as a timeline, in case you need it. All incidents of bad behaviours to you and the children and when it happened.

You cannot be responsible for his behaviour or for him wanting to sort himself out. That must come from him.

Communicate via text or email so you have a record. Don't get drawn into any arguments as hard as it is. Be factual.

I would tell him your concerns and see what he says.

Let him take you to court for contact if you don't feel the baby is safe with him. The advice above is with that in mind.

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