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having very bad day - help please!

31 replies

peabunny · 27/04/2008 12:46

Sorry to come on here to have a miserable rant but i don't know what else to do. I'd started dating again (after almost 2 yrs), met a nice man, we'd met 3 or 4 times but i wasn't sure it was going anywhere. The DCs knew about the man as he'd rang a few times when they were around - I explained that we were friends and i wouldn't call him my boyfriend so they weren't to think it was a big deal. Anyway i met him again a few days ago, and as we were on the way out in his car we happened to drive past DS2s class walking to their PE lesson. DS2 told exH that evening that he'd seen me with 'boyfriend' so exH has flipped (I had mentioned to him that i'd been on a few dates with someone + he pretended to be fine about it). He said it's 'completely inappropriate' for the DCs to see me with a man at this stage (they're 9 + 13). I felt he was getting it all out of proportion ( am i right?!) So now he's saying 'he can't be bothered to be a part of this family anymore' and has already told DS1 that he's not going to be seeing them anymore. I've tried talking to him on the phone and said look you need a few days to calm down + please don't do that to the boys but he says he won't change his mind this time. (He's done things like this before). To top it all off things not working out with the new man anyway so romance not even on the cards - hell i didn't even get a snog out of it and look at all the trouble it's caused! What's the best way to deal with this man?! I feel so crap and know i have to hold everything together for the DCs.

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peabunny · 30/04/2008 19:42

Hi all. He's been behaving very strangely today - his mum even rang up to say she'd had enough of him! Keeps sending me texts that start with 'oho ayte' and end with 'thankyou for your positive response'. I didn't reply of course except for arrangements for the DCs. I'm getting very worried about his mental state.

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glitterfairy · 02/05/2008 07:52

I wouldn't let his behaviour get to you peabunny just dont engage. People with metal illness thrive on the engagement of others whereas a positive and no confrontational stance will help more in this case.

peabunny · 03/05/2008 11:37

thanks GF, i managed to not let him get to me for the rest of the week, ignoring his ridiculous texts and finally yesterday he actually apologised! In the future will only be communicating with him over matters concerning the DCs, will keep well away from him. So glad i left him

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glitterfairy · 03/05/2008 11:49

LOL peabunny!

My X has also misbehaved all week and then apologised yesterday in a complete turnaround.

I am largely thinking this is head messing tactics again. Going on about me being a magnificent woman! Anyway I just think stick to your guns and do what is best for the kids which should be all our mottos.

peabunny · 03/05/2008 11:56

I love MN! I'm a newbie at this, but it's good to feel like you're not alone isn't it? It must be that these awful men can't bear that we could manage ok without them so have to try to control our lives in whatever ways they can.

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glitterfairy · 05/05/2008 09:00

Course you are not alone. One glance at these pages shows there are plenty of women and men in the same boat.

Anyway take care and keep going.

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