Ex's new partner

[yellowduckling1]

This has been done to death.

But I feel sad, and don't feel like I have anyone to talk too.

I share one child with my ex, he's just met someone (within the last 3 months) and they are already living together. New woman has 2 kids.

I just feel sad that my DS gets to see his dad for 2 hours EOW if that. He will see these children so much more.

How is he ok with this?? Pretty much bringing up someone else's kids, and doing less than the bare minimum for his own.

I have been single since the split 2 years ago, and probably will for a while.

well just because you are choosing to stay single doesn’t mean he should? could be worse my ex doesn’t see our kids at all and the thought of him having more kids when he doesn’t even see ours makes me feel disgusted.

Yeah fair. It more annoys me that they have the option to just piss off if they want.

It's not fair on us. We do the best by our kids, protect them from their shoddy behaviour.

I fully understand where you're coming from op. You want ex to be more involved with his own dc, that's only natural. Is there a reason he sees your child so little? Is it worth having a conversation and pointing out what you've put into your op in a non bitter, non attack-y way? not saying you are bitter. But just pointing out that dc would love to see his dad more and now that dad has a family set up the new gf, dc could go there for a bit longer?

Also, how old is dc?

He is 4. we have spoken about it in the past, his previous rental he didn't have enough space for him to stay overnight, and as he is 2.5 hours away it didn't seem worth it to get DS all the way over there and then all the way back in one day. So he just comes over here spend some time with him and then goes.

I have no idea of the set up at the new place. My ex also has 2 kids from a previous relationship. So that's 5 between them now. Doubt they will have the set up for all the kids?

Perhaps in a couple of weeks I can broach the subject. But then do o even want my son going somewhere where she has let this man (my ex) in to her house after 3 months. 🚩

I am way too over protective, so I could be seeing this wrongly.

I'm sorry for your little boy. But he has you, a loving protective mum who is putting him first. He's lucky to have such a strong mum.

Sometimes it helps to just remind yourself that you have no control over other's behaviour, only your own, and that you're doing your best for dc.

Thank you. I guess we all have those days when it all feels a little overwelming x

Slightly different as DDs dad had another child with his new partner and she was already 11 but we focus on the positives. DD gets to have the 'sibling experience's when at Dads, and gets to come home to our nice peaceful home afterwards where it's quiet, more grown up and no crying toddlers. She much prefers being home than she does there and actually only chooses to continue to see her dad now she's in her mid teens because she likes to see her sister.

So if I were you I'd just focus on the positives to DS and having built in play buddies there and try and ignore any role your Ex has there because you'll just feel resentment.

I used to work with teens and those with separated parents always found it much easier to accept Dad's / NRP new partner and blended family rather than Mums/RP. At Mums that was their space and many said even if they liked her bf / step dad it changed the dynamic they would rather they just visited rather than moved in, particularly teen girls in a previously all female household.

You have my empathy, my ex had an affair when dd1 was 3 months old . He then had a child with ow and dropped dd1 completely, he hasn’t seen her for 20 years.

I'm so sorry. Mine was similar, he walked out very suddenly when our child was 12 weeks old. Turns out there was another woman.

It's so awful, I wish there was something I could say to fix it. Men can be such pigs.

I hope you have support and your child is so lucky to have you ❤️

Thank you so much @yellowduckling1 , thankfully , she has been raised by my amazing partner from the age of 5 , she considers him her Fad .

Ah I'm so happy for you, and gives me a little hope that there are good men out there! Who don't run from responsibility xx