everytime he doesnt get his own way i get the "i'll cut your money" crap - arrrrrrggggg

[isheisnthe]

Situation is this - since we parted he is supposed to have the kids every weekend from after school until 6pm on saturday - since I moved in january, he's done this once, and consistantly drops off early - once not turning up to pick them up at all!

This weekend I decided enough was enough, so when I got his - Id like to drop them off at 12, 1, 2, 3, 4 I said no, the agreement is 6.

Like this (via email)

*FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL BE HERE AT 6. I have offered you every other weekend if this arrangement doesnt suit you. I am picking someone up from the airport at 415 so theres no way I will be here at 5.

Agreement was 6 so stop trying to shirk our sons as at the earliest opportunity every bloody week. read it - collection from school and drop back off saturday afternoon at 6pm - thats what you agreed to so tough*

I got this back !!!!

"Ok as per agreement you owe me £10 for there hair cuts, £10 for pants and socks and approx £150 for days out the week i had them so ill deduct that from the agreed money i pay all in for the boys so up to you if you want to be anal???? :-0 just calm down and stop being such an arse as you will get the bare minimum from me even the looking after the boys in hols so get flexible or keep it down the line as you say its the boys who will miss out...something we oth dont want so relax your large ego and chill out!!!"

please tell me if I am being unreasonable? I just sent back see you at 6 with a smiley face - as I think he is trying to provike an agrument - what shall I do - this happens EVERY weekend, and I have offered an alternative incase having the boys cramps his style to much

Its so hard all this stuff. One bit of advice imparted to me, which it sounds like you're doing, is write all the angry stuff down to get it off your chest, but don't hit send. Revisit when you're calm and make sure its just facts.

If it does go nasty he'll have all your emails as evidence and could try and manipulate the situation to say you're antagonistic etc.

My own ex other half and I would appear to be in a very similar situation - we also have two boys and a solicitors agreement!

I have always made sure that I have all the emails he sends - and I am always very careful about what I put in mine. I just stick to the boys and their best interests. He writes threats all the time - I wonder why he thinks he is so clever when its obvious he isnt, he might earn a few quid but thats all he has going for him.

It wont go nasty, I am biding my time and hoping he wakes up and stop using his dislike for me (why I dont know, I dodnt cheat!) to manipulate the situation and hurt the boys in the process.

Was think of phoning the CSA and asking them about how much I would get if we did use them, and then I will tell him and that will shut him up. I have looked at their calculator but it wants all income tax info which I dont have - I only have basic info like his gross wage

if you know his gross wage, you can get a rough idea by putting it into an online payslip calculator, assuming he's a single man on standard tax code & NICO;s etc.

I rang them (the CSA) and they told me that he should be giving 690 a month! Might tell him that next time he decides to start shouting the odds about money!