Am i completely nuts to consider...

8 replies

jdandcoke · 25/04/2008 21:46

having another baby with my x? I have 2 (dd4 and ds1) and am so happy on my own but would love a big family. My xp and I couldn't work as a couple but still have a strong bond and he's a great dad. I don't want to wait too long to have more kids, and i cant imagine having them with anyone other than my x. Am i insane???

OP posts:

kay7 · 25/04/2008 22:02

If the two of you get on well now then you are not hopelessly insane.How will he make you pregnant though?You will have to try for the baby several times.Thats as good as being back with him in a way.Have you ruled out being with another man in future?

littlewoman · 26/04/2008 01:48

Imvho, I wouldn't touch this idea with a long stick. But then, you haven't met my exes.

madamez · 26/04/2008 01:54

It's certainly worth discussing the idea with your XP if he is a good co-parent (ie sees existing DC, contributes financially etc) and neither of you is a monogamy fascist (ie one's existing partner is more important than anyone or anything else and the sexual exclusivity includes never speaking to anyone else without hovering partner).
If both of you feel the same way (that you are good coparents, neither of you is gagging to get back with the other, any subsequent partners will have to accept your family dymanic) then nothing wrong with going for it. If one of you is still longingly in love and the other is besotted with a new partner, then it's going to end in horrors.

ElizabethBeresfordSW19 · 26/04/2008 21:37

I wouldn't do it either! I feel too linked to a very unpleasant man as it is.

I would have had a bigger family, in a parallel universe where I'd got married to the right man.

Also, as much as I love my children, I'd like to get some love back one day. Oh get out the violins. Who knows what's round the corner? HOpefully not another baby!!

Original poster

jdandcoke · 27/04/2008 20:09

Thanks everyone for your opinions! It was just an idea that we've been discussing for a while now i needed some non-bias views. Hmmm, this is gonna take SO much thinking about.

OP posts:

CrackerOfNuts · 27/04/2008 20:27

You know this did actually cross my mind once, as I so want another baby.

However, I hate my ex with a pasion, and he is a crap dad, and so it would be a terrible idea, and so I would never do it.

If i had been friends with me ex, and he were a decent bloke, good dad etc, then I'd have had trouble convincing myself not to.

littlewoman · 27/04/2008 21:57

My friend just did this actually, last year. The baby is one soon. Her xh was hoping it would put her in a position where she needed him finacially, emotionally, to help care for the new baby, etc. She didn't. After much anger and arguing, he's got the message that he was a sperm donor and that is all, but she wanted him to father the baby because she knew him and knew he wouldn't take the responsibility lightly. Bit sad for him, really.

confusedmamma · 22/05/2008 17:57

Quite new to MN and just found this thread. I am in exactly the same position as you jdandcoke. Actually it's a bit harder for me I'm 43 and time is not on my side, but I would so love another one. I think I'm going to do it, what about you? what have you decided ?

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