Is it abnormal to not charge rent

[IcyViewer]

I have two kids, one just turned 14 and the other is turning 17. My youngest is of course too young to work yet, and my oldest has mental health issues and I don't expect him to work at the moment (I've been told that I'm not doing him any favours for that...)

Some of my friends have kids who are older teens (16-19) and they charge their children board. I'm not sure if it's worth mentioning but I'm south asian. It isn't typical for our families to charge rent.. my father passed when I was young and my mum spoke no english so I did have to help financially as a teen, but besides cases like mine, it isn't normal to pay rent at home in our culture. my brothers stayed at home well into their 20s but we weren't well off growing up at all

I've been asked if I'll charge my oldest when he gets a job... and honestly, i dont feel i will. It doesn't seem fair when he's in his teens and early 20s.. maybe ill change my mind in a few years, I'm not sure. I remember being that age and things just seem so much more expensive now. It's odd because I feel like I'm the outlier in this. I want my kids to build their own lives but I'm not waiting and rushing for them to get out of the house or to pay me for things that are necessary. I wouldnt buy them every privellage or game that they want either.. but I don't relate when my friends laugh and talk about wanting their kids out the house and when they talk about how much their teens contribute. I feel like I should be more insistent on it. My sons mental health issues affect me so much too, and these things affect the whole family, but ive just been so relieved that he's smiling more

I've considered that part of it is because I'm single and don't have a partner that i want to spend more one to one time with.. maybe that's it

Maybe it depends on area as I don’t think it’s unheard of to not charge rent where we are, and I would say in most cases I know of parents have charged rent and just put that money into a separate savings account secretly, never spent it, and then when DC wants to move out you have potentially £1000’s of their money to give them back for deposit/furniture etc.

I know lots of people who’s parents did this.

I wouldn't. But I wouldn't criticise those who do. If he's respectful & helpful & appreciative & saving for future & you can afford it - all good.

If you're struggling and he's lazy & taking the piss & not studying then I would.

My dad 19 is at uni & I do t take anything but she regularly buys dinner, flowers, treats, pays the bill at restaurants etc

It really all depends

I do see why people do it especially out of need and i wouldnt judge.. but I just can't imagine charging my own kids personally. my son is a sweet young man. i could see him acting like your daughter in the future

I believe it is my responsibility to support my child until she finishes her education. Once she completes her education, she needs to get a job and support herself financially. She income to live at home, but a portion of her income will be dedicated to housing. Since I am unlikely to need the money to support the household, she can just put the money into savings. I would be doing her a disservice to let her live in my home as an adult and not make sure she is using that opportunity to save.

learning to save and be smart with money is a skill we have to teach our children. Letting them live rent free with full time wages gives them a skewed perception of how much disposable income they really have.

I understand that view.. just not if he ends up doing part time work soon. Most of my friend's children don't work full time

Making him contribute to savings is a good idea

I’m asian too, I wouldn’t charge board (I understand that for some it’s an affordability issue). I would expect DC to be saving though.

Most people I know try to keep their older teens disposable income at a roughly similar level to the rest of the family, as a full time wage and no bills is a lot to spend. In practice this usually means making them responsible for more if there own expenses if it's a part time job (eg. Phone bill, cloths, toiletries) and a small amount of keep if it's full time or a higher wage. Unless the money is desperately needed however, most people put it into savings for them.

My 18yo DS has just started work and is going to be paying £100pm (as a nominal thing) plus buying the majority of his own food.

We have talked about saving and he says that he is going to save £700pm plus whatever he has left at the end of the month. £700 being what he looked at rent as being.

The extra council tax from not getting the single adult discount anymore is £70 pm, although I currently have non-working ds1 back after uni atm so I'd have lost that anyway, but his job is starting in Jan and he'll be moving away.
So the extra £30 after covering the additional council tax is clearly very nominal.