Free baby sitter

[LickyLemon]

I am at my wits end really..

I have told my friend that I'm not happy with looking after her child in the morning, sometimes as early as 5 30am they come and we don't leave until 8 30am for school.

I am exhausted and mentally drained, having to go to bed at an earlier time and having to take naps during the day to keep up with being awake so early. This is cutting into me time and everything else.

When I offered to help a few months ago, I didn't think they would still be using me a whole year later, even after asking them to find something else to do with said child.

She said I'm being dramatic, that she too works from 4am to 1pm and hubby 7am to 4pm and doesn't understand why I am tired.

I am a single parent who does everything on my own. Completely everything. Just annoyed at this point.

So presumably you won’t be taking care of the child again ?

You have to learn to say NO!

This isn't problem, not yours. Tell her firmly you are very sorry but from Monday next, you will not be looking after her child or even answering the door.

I’m guessing this situation has arisen because your DC go to school together, so at some point you agreed she could drop her DC at yours early and you’d take them to school around 0830?

But instead of dropping them at 8am she or DH is dropping them before work - which can be ridiculously early at 0530?

Nope. That’s completely unfair. Of course you’re not being dramatic. It’s clearly difficult for her starting work at 4am but not your problem.

As you want this to stop you’ll have to be firm and clear. ‘DF, I am happy to take Jimmy before school but not before 8am. If you need to drop them off before 8, I’m sorry but I can’t manage it. It’s half term coming up and I won’t be able to carry on when they go back to school on xx November.’

You might lose the friend over it but that tells you all you need to know.

Yeah, I think it’s a case of not answering the door. Maybe give her a week’s notice to find some kind of alternative arrangement.

Just lock the door and don't answer. Maybe temporarily disconnect the doorbell? Or put a note on the door saying 'No banging, we're sleeping please'.

Tell her to find someone else to exploit.

I wouldn’t give any notice, I just wouldn’t answer the door. If she says anything I would say you must have slept through as luckily your DD doesn’t need to be up until 7.45.

This is completely and utterly not ok to expect you to do this on an ongoing basis!

Have no doubts that what you're being asked to do is unreasonable.

Send her a message and rather saying that you're not happy with it say really clearly...

After this week I will no longer be able to have Penelope here in the mornings before school. I'm letting you know now so that you can find an alternative solution over half term.

If she replies saying that you're making a fuss about nothing you can reply with something along the lines of...

Just to be clear I definitely will not be having Penelope here in the mornings after half term. It doesn't work for us.

It doesn't matter at all that she doesn't understand that you are tired. You helped her out but you don't want to anymore. You don't need a reason. No way in heck would I be getting up at 5am (or earlier) to babysit a kid for three hours every day. I assume she doesn't collect both kids from school and keeps yours for three hours and give her dinner? Even if she did it's not the same as she'd be doing that anyway with her own, whereas you two would presumably be tucked up asleep until after 7am!
Do exactly as @INeedNewShoes suggests. Repeat repeat.

I would have given abit of notice.

"Hi just giving you a heads up after x date I won't be able to have A anymore "

Are you on half term this week ?

I used to be a childminder and had 1 child twice a week from 6.am . She was charged premium rate because of this .. Child was never going to have anyone else before 7 am and knew it was quiet play .

poor child must be exhausted too . Do they disturb your child too.

presumably you aren’t sleeping well waiting for a knock on the door. Half term is the perfect time to stop .

you won’t lose a friend - she isn’t your friend