Single mom to 1 year old completely overwhelmed and struggling mentally

[Leabee1234]

So I have a 15 month old son. I'm sat here crying my eyes out as I just feel so overwhemled and stressed . I love my son so so much but deeply regret the person I had him with. His dad is not seeing him at the moment due to him being under investigation by the police. I work part time and live alone with my son. I feel like I'm drowning and barely getting by most days. I need to move out at some point as my apartment is being sold. I always imagined I'd be happy with a family and this is the situation I've ended in. I tried dating when I had any time free and just been ghosted after 2 months he knew about my situation. I just feel like I'll always be alone struggling I'm on a high dose of anti depressants and just keep thinking am I good enough as a mom. I love my son so much and I'd die for him.
I just feel so mentally overwhelmed does jt get easier. This isn't the life I planned and it's just heartbreaking that I feel like this when I should be happier for my son

I'm so sorry for what you're going through
I'm also a single mum to a 15month old and it's hard!
Motherhood is hard, and doing it solo with no support is extremely hard so be kind to yourself.
I find some days over whelming but I keep telling myself a bad hour doesn't make a bad day. I still get so joy from my son (along with temper tantrums and never ending requests to be up 🤪) and I just have to lower my standards for tidyness around the apartment.

It's really hard thinking of the life you could have had, but if he's being investigated by the police it sounds like it wouldn't have been a good environment for your baby to be brought up in.

I've no real advice but I just wanted to acknowledge how hard it is and send a virtual hug 🤗

\i think a job and a raising a baby all by yourself is a lot of work. I wouldn't be adding dating to that list. Who is babysitting whilst you date anyway?

Focus on your child first and yourself next. I know it seems a long way off but all that child related money you get will end one day so start a 15 year plan now for how you're going to support yourself when all that money ends. Make plans and enjoy your baby. Single mums have a tendency to be targeted by men looking for somewhere to live, sadly.

I think you are really in the tough years .. Do you get to groups ? They were my lifeline when my Ds was that age .

You are probably exhausted, find your grove before trying to find someone else - you risk either been too needy or very vulnerable .

Do you have any support . Sure start used to have volunteers that help although not sure if that exists .

it definitely gets easier .

Do you have any support in real life or close friends you can chat with? If you are feeling lonely and have the motivation, I would definitely force yourself to find some weekly toddler groups to look forward to. Either church led ones that tend to be very cheap and include brews and snacks or children centres that you'd probably need to book onto. Try to get a weekly routine with things you can enjoy with your son and if you have the option of a grandparent/babysitter give yourself some adult time to chat to other adults/join a weekly leisure activity or something you enjoy. You're still grieving the life you thought you'd have. Once you start getting through those feelings start building your new, healthy life for you both. You've got this!

@Leabee1234 how are you doing this week?

Never mind loving him so much you’d die for him, love him so much you’d LIVE for him.

I’m a single Mum of three, aged 7, 6 and 2. It’s bloody hard but that’s my lot, no one is coming to save me. There are good days and bad days, but I’m concentrating on making our situation better for all of us, you have to be strong enough to do the same.

I wanted to write as I’m a single mum to a 7 month old baby (my husband blindsided me and left for another woman before I gave birth). It’s so hard and I’m struggling so much to cope alone - i don’t know how I will also add a job to the mix when I return to work. How are things going for you now?

I found the 12-18 month stage realy difficult. My son's 22 months now and while it's still hard it's definitely easier, he can move without potentially falling or banging his head or whatever all the time, he can communicate so much better, sleep (at least a bit) better.

Do you ever get some time to yourself so you can just be you and prioritise yourself, even for a couple of hours?