anyone here been to court to oppose ex's request for unsupervised contact?

[redpyjamas]

Anyone got any experience of being taken to court about this? Why were you opposing the unsupervised contact? How long did the process take? Who had to be involved? And most importantly, what was the final outcome?
I'm interested because really I want to brace myself for when my ex takes this to court. He's violent and otherwise abusive, and has only seen the dds twice in 5 years (in a contact centre).
Oh, and he's threatened in the past to take them away from me (and he lives abroad in a country where it would be near impossible to ever get them back).
TIA

I've no experience but I have done some family law. Courts will look at what is in the best interest of your child. They will look at the contact she has with her father and his behaviour towards them. Do you have a prohibiting order preventing him from leaving the country with your children, just in case? You should see a solicitor really.

I am now entering my 3rd year of court case over access.
he wants acces i oppose it.

My ex has also ben abusive.

If you are opposing the access due to his violance and he has never been charged with this before then you will most likely have a fact finding hearing. this is basicly like a mini trial wher eboth sides can give evedence and bring witnesses. there is no jury but teh judge will decide which version of events s/he believes is true.

the rest of the case will be based upon that.

My own case is more compliacted in as muchas my son has ASD and has been affected by witnessing the violance.

you can expect to be seen by a CAFCASS worker who will make an assesment of both your Ex and the children. they will speak with you and try to hear both sides of teh story.
they will then report back to the court their findings and the judge will then either make a decision or direct further assesments depending on the outcome of teh report.

In our case we have seen specialist psychaitrists, had supervised contact with a senior social worker, further supervised sessions by other trained staff, reports written by school...prety much anyone with a professional input into the childrens lives ahs been involved in some way or another.

Basicly if you are funding your own case then i would suggest trying mediation first. only go to court if you really need to.

Thanks for the info. I do have a solicitor, but as my ex usually lives out of the country, there are no specific 'orders' in place, although I have asked about them. I want them as a safety net, but it seems he needs to be living here for it to be possible. Hopefully, the fact that he normally resides abroad will help my case, or at leat slow down the process. Obviously, the older the children get, the better (from the point of view of possible abduction).
Out of interest, why do you suggest mediation? I can't really see how it could achieve anything, as there is no compromise. But I am all ears if I am understanding it wrongly.
Thanks for your replies.

if there is no way forward then court is your only solution. just that my court case has really been a strain (as i say, im now entering my 3rd year) so if there is any possibility of avoiding the experiance i would take it.

With regards to the worry of him abudcting teh children...if they don't already have passports obtain them. then give them to your solicitor for safe keeping.
this will prevent him from getting them for the children or from stealing them.
without passports they cannot leave the country...at least that would be one less thing to worry about.

it is the child, not the parent who has to resident here to found jurisdiction for the english court... if he makes an application to an english court re contact you should consider cross applying for a residence order and a prohibited steps order prohibiting him from removing the children. where there is real concern about abduction the court can make orders about the surrender of (his) passport before any contact takes place.... but it seems here there is opposition to the principle of any contact...

Is it not possible for him to obtain pasports for them despite them already having passports? He could declare them to be lost or stolen? I'm also very aware that he is well versed in fraudulent activity (and has connections), so I don't think that lack of genuine passports would deter him. But I hope that a judge would see that too.
When you say that you are entering your third year, how often do you need to attend a hearing? Sorry for all the questions, but I really don't know what to expect.

yes, I oppose unsupervised contact for many reasons. It would be disastrous for the children. But the fear of abduction is the greatest, as that would mean that he messes up their lives completely and they will be unable to escape the abuse.

does he have parental responsibility for the dcs? if not he cant get passports without your consent (in theory at least). in any event as you have pr you can write to passport people telling them that no passports are to be issued for dcs.

WEll it varies.

If they are review hearings, ie the judge has decided to allow supervised contact and wants to review how it is going, then they are every 3 mnths or so.

during the Fact finding we had to attend every day for a week.
then back again after 3 weeks for the decision.

if things settle and are going ok you can expect to return after 6 months for review.

it all very much depends.

Your case may be simple enough to only need a couple of court appearances.

i think i have been in court in excess of 50 times.

bloody hell mamazon!
how have you found the court process?

it is incredibly draining, emotionaly.

It is stressful and i end up with a 3 day migraine each and every time.

My Barrister is fantastic though and he does his best to keep me calm and reasurred.

As i say, my own case is incredibly complicated (My solicitor has been in the game 40 years and i am his "most interesting and complex case") due to my sons SN.

I imagine most cases are dealt with in a year and only a couple of appearances.

that sounds so stressful! and the fear of the unknown outcome just adds to it. sorry you have this going on.

How old is your son? What does he say about the matter? What are his SN? You don't have to answer if you don't want.

Well i came at it with a certain degree of familiarity due to my work ( i was a social worker for the youth offending team)

so i was used to the court and the court system, but nothing prepares you for the stress of the actual case. and yes the fear of the unkown regarding teh outcome is horrible.
I sit each and every time carefully considering every word the judge says, desperatly trying to second guess her decision. painfully she will try and placate my ex by saying how she has considered his case and pointing ut merits of his case or wahtever...so i think she is siding with him...and then says that she has decided not to grant contact.
You wuld imagine that that wouyld offer a sense of relief but it doesn't as i darent show any gratitude or happyness in case it causes my ex to kick off.

Fingers crossed yours i nice and simple.

My son is 7 and has Autism, so his developmental age is that of approximately a 4 year old.
he has severe behavioural problems linked to the violance he witnessed whilst i was with his father.

whilst he enjoys seeing his father when the courts have experimented with supervised contact, he is not bothered by not seeing him.
My daughter was only 10 weeks when we left so she doesnt really know her father anyway so is not bothered either.

And by all means ask away.
Im by no means an authority but i will answer as much as i can....i wish i had someone who had been through it all to give me the benefit of experiance when i was facing my first appearance.