Am I weird?

[CatsCuddles]

I parent my children alone and they have no contact with their father. He has never done a days parenting since we split, never had them overnight, cooked them dinner, done a school run, nothing. He doesn’t see them at all since we split. Anyway I’ve thought how nice it would be to have eow to myself so I can rest, get things done without kids under my feet, and dare I say it have a social life and date again (I’ve been single since he left 8 years ago with no dating what so ever in that time not even a kiss! which wouldn’t have been a deliberate choice) I think my MH would improve massively if I got regular breaks and time to myself. Anyway when I speak to other single mums they say they hate the time they are not with their children and feel devastated not being with them every day and say I would feel the same but I just don’t agree I’m someone that quite likes having time to myself and I feel resentful at the fact I’ve been left to so everything alone. Anyway am I weird? Does anyone actually enjoy a “break” from their children or am I an awful mum for dreaming of regular breaks to keep my sanity 😅

You're definitely not alone. Pretty normal to want your own time and space, especially if you have so little of it being a single mum.

Thank you, I’m on a lot of single parent groups and I just don’t understand all the moping about not being with your child 24/7. One person was saying how she’s crying herself to sleep because her 18 year old daughter is going on a night out and she can’t cope with being alone, I just thought it didn’t sound healthy at all and a lot of pressure on your child (even if they are an adult in that persons case)

Definitely not healthy.

i think people like this are more commonly found online because people who are managing fine with life aren't usually posting about it. People post more when they are struggling, so if you look on parenting groups it can feel like everyone is barely coping.

YANBU OP, people often look for issues though. It’s human nature. So if roles were reversed they’d probably complain too.

Yes single mum and if my ex misses a week I can feel myself struggling, I need that day to reset myself and just switch off for a bit!

Nope I lone parent and it’s exhausting when I never get a break. Covid almost broke me as her dad who generally sees very little of her, saw her even less. I don’t get anything regularly - sometimes months can go past. It’s tiring. And also, I have no life of my own outside of work and my child. It’s not great.

I’m not a single mum and still appreciate child-free time.

My dd has gone to uni and my dm seems to think I should be bereft and crying into my soup about it! I miss her but haven’t cried once - it’s the natural order of things and she’ll regularly be coming home. I’ve two younger ones and they are no trouble at all but dh and I have weekends away a few times a year to just be “us”, and I really look forward to these adult only times.

People who go on about how much they miss their dcs when they’re not around are likely being martyrs who think it somehow makes them “better than”. My dm is like this and conveniently forgets how neglectful she often was when we were younger and how she constantly put her dp before her kids/grandkids. She has selective amnesia and will bang on about how she’d crumble to pieces if any of us moved far away/didn’t see her regularly. It’s BS quite frankly!

You deserve to have time off OP and certainly shouldn’t listen to those who try to one up you by claiming they have to spend every day with their dcs.

Your friend who can’t cope with her dd going on a night out sounds ridiculous and is probably putting unhealthy parameters on her relationship with her dd. Kids with parents like this often get away from home as soon as they’re able to as they are stifled. Dd said there are loads of kids at uni who can’t seem to cope and are used to being too dependent on their parents.