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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

sex with ex...

19 replies

sportscandy · 23/04/2008 12:21

this weekend me n ex slept together twice. We didn't plan it, just were "in the moment" but don't know were we stand now. The thing is, he has a new gf and feels bad about cheating (although once is unfortunate, twice is careless if you ask me!) but says she is a bit crap in bed and misses how I make him feel. He seems to think that if he could cheat on her, then he must still have some feelings for me, discuss.....

OP posts:

mishymoo · 23/04/2008 12:23

He is using you! He can't have his cake and eat it!

scorpio1 · 23/04/2008 12:23

cake and eating it.

He should either be with her OR you - not both. do you care for him still?

mishymoo · 23/04/2008 12:23

great minds scorpio

Original poster

sportscandy · 23/04/2008 12:26

I do care for him, Scorpio, and kinda know he's using me, but he really isn't a cheat usually, so...

OP posts:

VinegarTits · 23/04/2008 12:29

why is he your ex? obviously there is atill a spark but you need to think of the reasons why you are not together...dont let him use you because his new gf is shit in bed

littlewoman · 23/04/2008 12:52

Cakeman alert Let him either teach her how to be better in bed, or dump her and be with you. They don't ask much, these blokes, do they?

batters · 23/04/2008 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImightbeLulumama · 23/04/2008 13:49

what an absolute idiot

cheating on new girlfriend

slagging her off to you

is he 15??

you can do better than this. you deserve better than this.

if he could cheat on her, he is a selfish twunt for thinking it meant he still has feelings for you

why did you split up?

he clearly has no respect for women or any boundaries

Tinkerbel6 · 24/04/2008 11:17

I dont think you need to have feeling for someone to sleep with them, sportscandy he is sleeping with you because he can, dont let your ex use you like this and I wouldn't believe him when he says his g/f is bad in bed cause he has probably told her the same thing about you, give him a wide birth :_

Rosasmum · 24/04/2008 13:28

Sportscandy, you didn't say how you feel about it. I did this once and it made me realise how much I had gone off my ex!!! But he is having his cake and eating it and it shouldn't happen again. It isn't fair on you or his new gf.

tb73 · 25/04/2008 23:32

He knows you are lonely.
He knows that you ache to be loved and held.
He knows how to exploit a vunerable woman.

When it comes to affairs of the heart, most words fall on deaf ears and we do what our hearts desire, until our hearts can take no more.

Good Luck Sportcandy, good luck.

littlewoman · 26/04/2008 01:37

Very wise, tb73. You've depressed me now, actually But very true words.

tb73 · 26/04/2008 16:15

I was just thinking back, a few moons ago now...

Sorry to depress you littlewoman!

zippitippitoes · 26/04/2008 16:36

i carried on with my exdp after he dumped me and moved out saw him everyday until he got a new gf 6 weeks later and all the being friends forever stuff flew out the window

so i ended up getting dumped twice

and i had set the ball rolling trying to have his baby by egg donation which he thought i could do tho he had no plans to come back and live with me

it just leads to hope and hurt

dont do it

LaComtesse · 26/04/2008 16:49

It's a bad idea but I have done this in the past, dated ex1, dumped him, began to date ex2 and he dumped me so I drifted back to being friends with ex1 and I used to instigate sex just cos I could (this was years before I had dd) but then I met someone I really cared about (we ended up dating for nearly 3 years) so then I had to get rid of ex1 again. Luckily he wasn't under any illusions that we'd been a couple for the summer shags..... This sounds awful reading it back.

Original poster

sportscandy · 26/04/2008 17:34

thanks everyone. The thing is, I am bereft without him. I know it was a mistake, but for a short time everything was fine, and we were 'us' again. I'm sure you know what I mean. It's not so easy just to switch off your emotions is it? I wish it was.

OP posts:

zippitippitoes · 26/04/2008 17:36

sportscandy thats what happened to me

move on it hurts like hell but it will get better

LaComtesse · 26/04/2008 17:39

You will get past that stage and if you have had a recent split your emotions are probably running higher than normal, making him seem more attractive... thus beddable. He is also appealing to your sense of competition by comparing you to his gf.... to prove you are better than she is (crass thing to say to anyone IMHO). Don't beat yourself up about it but remember, he's sleeping with two women and you are sharing one man between you - and she doesn't even know. Hardly a good position to be in, is it? Also, supposing he got one or both of you pg or passed an STI onto you? What would happen then?

zippitippitoes · 26/04/2008 20:54

also once you drop him then you will feel more in control

i didnt get left with no one i have now been seeing someone for 5 or 6 months who is taller better looking more intelligent employed interesting good looking fun and likes the same stuff as me and younger than exp

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